Poetic Resignation

(Posted as received through a forwarded email)

The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig

The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don’t know if I should stay.

To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say

My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don’t know if I should stay.

The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age

This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don’t know if I should stay.

The money is good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate

Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don’t know if I should stay!

The managers don’t know what they talk
The team doesn’t know where they walk

That’s a bad situation, what say?
I don’t know if I should stay.

I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace

I can’t keep switching day by day
I don’t know if I should stay.

The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess

No more will I walk their way,
It’s all done, I won’t stay.

Thanks & Regards
Hard Working Employee

Ahhh, The Cold War for a Damn Mobile

I recently went on an out of control shopping spree, and bought myself a new mobile/cell phone. The last time I did some impulsive shopping was more than 1 year ago when I had treated myself to a cell phone. Hey, don't start judging me, for a middle class Joe like me, buying a mobile is still a luxury purchase worth celebrating, but this time I had to buy one for my wife, but then the devil whispered some sweet poetry in my ears and I decided to keep the mobile for myself. Big mistake, I know now, and thus I unknowingly invited the silent, not speaking to you, door banging, cooking utensils clanking, poisonous sarcastic replies to simple everyday questions, wrath of my lovely and beloved wife.

Now the background story of why I was pushed into purchasing and listening to the devil, well one of the twins somehow threw my wife’s mobile out of our 4^th floor balcony without any warning. We only got to know what had happened when at the night my wife wanted to send a sms to one of her Saheli and the mobile was nowhere to be found. We searched high and low, through thick and thin, I even suggested lodging an FIR, to which she gave me a very pathetically degrading look which translates into “You are such a cheap ass” etc. I don’t know if she drugged me or I was talking in my sleep or something but to cut the story short I generously promised to get her a new mobile ASAP.

After a heated argument between me and my conscious, I finally gave in and went to Abdullah Haroon Road to buy a mobile. Since my purchase range, to put it politely was very limited, I went for the sleazily advertised Qmobile E900 SOAP. It was available in Black and White colors and I opted for the white and paid Rs=6500/= for it. I rejoiced on my way back to home, feeling very rich because of the purchase that I had just made.

The mobile is exactly what it is: a poor man’ touch screen phone, nothing more and nothing less. The camera takes sucky pictures and the video camera records videos that blow big time. It is being advertised as a 3 mega pixel camera when in reality it has a .3 mega pixel camera. I think they deliberately forgot to add the” .” before the 3. The touch operation is good except for the fact that sometimes unlocking it becomes a huge pain in the ass. I think there is a point on the screen which needs to be precisely pressed for the phone to unlock and this keeps you on your toes every time you try to unlock it. The screen is good with the brightness and contrast and responds well to the touch.

The sound player and the video player too are good, but the signal reception is shaky in crowded or underground areas. The sound quality too is good and the volume is not like other deafening Chinese phones (I was later told by someone that Qmobile is Korean or Taiwanese).The battery works very well when charged and keeps on working for at least 2 whole days. The yuckiest thing about this phone is the user manual which comes with it. It was supposed to be written in English but the writer though otherwise and wrote it in a language which appears to be English but fails miserably to make any sense.  

Since I was using the same phone for the past 1 something year, greed got the best of me and I decided to keep the phone for myself. Hey, don’t get me wrong, I am not an animal. I offered her to use my old mobile to which she politely told me to shove the phone where the sun don’t shine, figuratively speaking.  Fortunately for me she does not use curse words otherwise this would have been her exact reply.

So this was the start of the cold war which went on for some days after which one day I remembered when a couple of years ago I had to sell my mobile for some reason. After i sold my mobile my wife offered me her mobile which I then used for almost a year, during this whole time she was without a phone and she did not say a word about it. 

I started feeling guilty about the whole episode and she graciously accepted my apology and the phone, thus ending the war and start of a lovely dovey, happily married life once again. The End