Programmed Excuses

Here are the top 25 excuses used by programmers, developed by programmers for the programmers.

1. Strange..., i took care of it already
   
2. It works fine on my machine.
3. I've never heard about that, must be a new technological innovation.
4. I swear it worked yesterday.
5. Well, nothing's perfect, so what if the program needs some fixing?.
6. How is this possible? Eureka, its a new discovery.
7. The machine seems to be broken, please order a new one.
8. Has the operating system been updated? (If the answer is in affirmative then the reply by the programmer always is "I told you not to let it update" and vice versa if the answer is in negative.
9. The ignorant user does not know how to use this and that has caused an error again.
10. The test data is not what it's supposed to be.
11. I did not develop that module! Check with the new guy.
12. Yes of course, the deadline will be met.
13. You have the wrong executable, again.
14. Oh, that is a feature i incorporated, not a bug.
15. It's almost as ready as it was 2 weeks ago.
16. I just have to do these small fixes, no biggies
17. It will be done in no time at all, don't you worry about a thing
18. It's just some bad mojo or unlucky coincidence, nothing wrong with the code.
19. I can't test everything, can i?
20. THIS will never do THAT.
21. Didn't I fix it already? Damn my memory is getting worse under too much work load.
22. I am already finished with that, all that remains is the testing.
23. It works here, not too sure about the live environment, needs more testing.
24. Somebody must have messed with my code.
25. There is a virus in the application software which causes malfunction.