Some rules to follow while cruising on the roads of Karachi:
You have to be hyper crazed all the time while behind the steering wheel, the more hyper the better
Never think that you just own your car, not thinking of the road as your property too is considered as being a jackass
Being courteous is considered as being a pretentious A-hole, don't be one
Being hospitable means you are less of man, so act all manly by refusing to give anyone a helping hand but giving the finger to anyone at anytime with or preferably without any reason is an absolute must
Pedestrians are simply slow moving targets, hit them, keep count and boast about it to your friends
Wearing seat belts is considered lame and a huge waste of time, wear a gun instead
Wearing a gun would come in handy as whenever you get into an argument with a fellow driver start having illicit and explicit sexual verbal relations with his female family members and end it with your gun
You can stop, anywhere for any reason or no reason at all, as your highness pleases
Never give way to a passing car, as someone overtaking you would definitely hurt your manliness and will make you seem like a wuss
At nights drive with at least the high beams on, if your ass is too cheap to buy LED lights
Even if you do not have to be at any place, always act like your behind is in a hurry
Being rude to female and elderly drivers is considered as the most awesome driving act
Road rules are not meant for you, ignorance is bliss, pay absolutely no attention to them
Honk loud and continuously, specially in hospital and school zones
The music system in your car should at least be worth 25 to 50k regardless of the fact that your car itself may only be worth 20k
Play louder than loud music, everybody needs to know that you are a pompous rich supposed celebrity and can afford ear treatment at a later phase in your life
Since life itself is a race, go nuts on the road, Drag Racing is an absolute must
Nothing defines class and status as passengers sitting right on your car doors
Intoxication and driving under influence is extremely COOL
Ambulances are only pretending to be in an emergency with their sirens and the man yelling on the microphone, the only and the most important emergency is you reaching your destination as quickly as possible. Keep in mind that people will die regardless if you give way to an ambulance or not, so why bother?
Always drive with a smug look on your face with a cigarette in your mouth
Texting while driving gets the onlooking divas all hot and what not for you, the women folk are most impressed by reckless behavior
While driving always act like a Super hero in a hurry to save the day, by doing anything in your power to get ahead of the rest of the cars
Always keep a 50 Rupees note handy in your pocket for the cops
There are no predefined slow or fast lanes, deciding which speed to drive in and in which lane, solely depends on your mood
Always overtake from the wrong side and confuse the living daylights out of other drivers
In case of a minor accident, never ever be a pansy and admit your fault
In case of a major accident and resulting casualties, run like hell away from the crime scene
Traffic signals are just kidding, they don't really want you to stop on a red light
Think of every road as a F1 track and you are Michael Schumaker
You were born a driver, no need to get a driving license
Always blame everything on the driver of the bigger vehicle
It is a common sight in Karachi to see an unfortunate broken down vehicle and the driver of that vehicle pushing it alone with a worried look on his sad face and that can fill you with compassion, if that happens you are allowed to make his day by yelling "Maachis doon kia" on the top of your lungs while passing by the scumbag
The more your car pollutes, the cooler it becomes by extension
Render every argument invalid by mentioning your contacts
Failure to follow any one of these rules most probably will result in an ego threatening experience, don't let that happen, be a rule abiding citizen, always follow every rule mentioned here and you are good to go for the pleasure of driving on the roads of Karachi.
