Today i was stuck in a terribly bad traffic jam at Tibet Centre for about a painful hour or so. Since i had nothing else to do besides inhaling toxic fumes coming from the buses, listening to the god-awful, psychologically torturing noise coming from the rickshaws and noticing how motorcycle riders will do anything to get passed the traffic jam by using the footpath as the 4th lane of traffic or by being a nuisance zigzagging in front of other cars, i diverted my attention from the fact that no matter what i do i will never get this hour of my life back which i spent slow poisoning myself by observing the doings of the people around me.
As i looked around searching and scanning the proximity for anything remotely interesting besides the Rickshaw driver next to me putting his hand under his kameez and enjoying the sensation of scratching his sweaty armpits and right after eating a samosa with the same hand, i noticed some commotion coming from a mini bus. A mini bus as we all know is always at the heart of exciting and intriguing chain of events so naturally i too rose from my seat to investigate the happenings currently under way in or should i say on the mini bus.
What i saw next was of course filled with irony but was also funny like nothing i had seen in the past couple of years. Two guys sitting on the roof of the mini bus had gotten into a fight and the rest of the roof dwellers were trying their best to stop them but were also trying their best to avoid falling off from the roof of the mini bus, which could later be reported by the leading news channels as synchronized failed suicide attempt by a group of people. The two guys both were in a very awkward position because of the limited availability of space and safety measures provided by the owner of the minibus so they were busy fighting while laying down in a fetal position both holding on to the legs of the other street fighting artist.
In the meanwhile the verbal battle continued on ferociously and i lost count of the women mentioned by name or by relation. When the roof crowd gave up on their efforts to stop the brawl, the driver had to get involved by standing on the entrance by which he enters the driving area and he started trying to somehow separate the two young guns from making a mockery of the sacred roof top of the minibus but he too failed to break the bond of anger and revenge between the two passengers from hell.
This went on for sometime and eventually two Rangers appeared from their mobile which was also stuck in the traffic jam and did the thing for which they are famous for. One ranger pulled the driver down, got up on the entrance and smacked both of the fighters silly. While the other ranger got on top of the roof and brought the guys down by their collars. Things would have gotten more interesting but sadly the traffic started moving and the rangers let them off the hook by giving stringent warnings and lecturing them about the code of conduct while traveling on the roof of a moving vehicle.
I have no doubt in my mind that something like this could only happen in Pakistan, not because of the people happily traveling on the roof of a public transport vehicle and paying the conductor to degrade them, i have seen similar scenes in India where people commute via a train's rooftop but a fight on the roof is our monopoly, only we are this fearless, no other nation or country compares or comes remotely close.
Long live Pakistan, the land of Fierce, Fearless Hearts and long live our transport system for giving a platform to our star fighters to make their debut Nationally .(no pun or sarcasm intended, i seriously mean it)
