The Diabolical Diaper

It has been a little more than 3 years since god graciously awarded me the status of being a father, a care taker and a mentor. The first attempt of me trying to be a dad fetched me a wonderful package of love, cuteness and heavenly blessings in the form of a daughter and i think because somehow i managed to do an OK job with loving, caring for and raising her i caught god's attention and he decided to give me a bonus for doing my job in the form of twins, a boy and a girl. The twins are now 14 months old and are more than a handful but i would not have it any other way since the joy they have brought me compares with nothing, absolutely nothing that the world has to offer partially or in its entirety.

During my time as a father i observed that the ridiculously expensive side of being a father is buying diapers, worrying about diapers and arranging for a back up stock all the time. It would not be wrong on any level to say that the diaper industry is shitty business, your pay every time your kid takes a dump or leak. Who knew you can earn from shit produced by kids but the diabolical diaper people are making a fortune off of it the world over.

Sadly enough as with every other necessity and luxury coined as necessity the price of diapers too has skyrocketed over the years and i am left with this thought occupying my mind every time i see my kids making funny and weird faces during their poo process, man their shit is getting expensive and its my money practically going down the drain and i am left to watch it nay endure it every time, over and over again. Come to think of it, i am taking a butt lot of shit from my boss to earn a living only to spent it on my kids who only give a crap about it in return.

In the old days it was a joy and an achievement to see your kids getting potty trained but now it has become a financial necessity too to get them off the damn diaper and on to the potty since its getting harder for me by the minute to afford their crap, no pun intended. The strange thing is that it seems like kids are hooked on diapers, i mean my wife uses cloth home made diapers too but the darn kids refuse to deposit their business in it but as soon as she puts a diaper on them they start delivering and man can they deliver. Well i can take some solace in the fact that they fill the diaper all the way up to its limits leaving me with a sense of money well spent or Paisa Wasool.

Now coming on to the modus operandi of the diaper manufacturers, they make all sort of nice ads, sometimes offering humanitarian aid along the way, some what colorful packaging and all sorts of benefits, catchy names and what not only to encourage the consumer to buy their made to handle shit product, that's right, there is no nicer of way saying it or putting it in any other words. They also offer ass wipes with a in your face attitude, keep wiping not only your kid's behind but also your money. The ass wipes might make my babies behind as soft as a baby's behind but for me they are like sand papers, coarse and unforgiving.

The brand of diapers that i buy are named Pearl, now if that's not adding insult to injury i don't know what is. A pearl does not and will never contain human feces so why is it named so? I can come up with no other rubbing it my face reason except for because for them it contains the earning potential of a real pearl.

I would like to warn the diaper manufacturers of the dire consequences if they do not take it easy on middle class working Joes like me and reduce prices of the poo holding devices known as diapers manufactured and proudly marketed by them through the lyrics of the song sung by sting because well it stings, my warning should not be taken lightly and it reads as follows:

Every dump my kids take
Every poo they make
Every single day
Every time i pay
I'll be cursing you, diaper jerks