Dear God

The past few days have been devastating for Pakistan and the people of Pakistan. From the gruesome killing of Mian Arshad, the only son of Iftikhar Hussain to the flood in Khyber Pakhtunkhua it seems like its Pakistan’s turn to face a number of sudden unpleasant chain of surprises. We weren’t done mourning over the tragedy of Data Darbar yet and here we are holding on to our hearts in remembrance of the unfortunate demise of the people aboard Air Blue's flight. What’s happening with us, why all of a sudden so many tear-filled tidings and occurrences? I hope it’s not what I think it is, the countdown for us is over, the time limit has been exceeded and our number has been called.


Oh Almighty we know we were busy cutting a cake for Zardari Sahab on his birthday when Mian Arshad was brutally murdered,

Oh Almighty we know we were busy ordering Bullet proof vehicles so we were not able to compensate the families of the victims of Data Darbar massacre,

Oh Almighty we know we were busy in plotting out our next political move when the Air Blue plane crashed,

Oh Almighty we know we were thinking of new ways of corruption when people were begging to be saved from the devastation caused by floods in Khyber Pakhtunkhua

Oh Almighty we know we were busy overeating and wasting valuable food when people were killing their children and committing suicide because of hunger

Oh Almighty we know we were stealing from the aid received for the displaced survivors of the catastrophic 2005 earth quake instead of helping them

Oh Almighty we know we have wrongfully abducted and imprisoned several people just because of some measly dollars,

Oh Almighty we know we were bickering and fighting over water and hence you sent down a flood to resolve our petty issues,

Oh Almighty we know we are guilty of hoarding when you blessed us with abundance,

Oh Almighty these are but just a few things that we are truly ashamed of, you know best how long the list is, Oh dear god please, please forgive our sins, like you have in the past. Do not be hasty in punishing us, deal with us with mercy and not with justice. We know we have wronged ourselves and others but please we beg you Oh the only great one, please grant us another opportunity to do good onto us and onto others. Please give us another chance to repent, to mend our ways and to prove ourselves worthy of forgiveness by helping humanity. (Ameen)

So True!!

The story of every working class man

I found this picture online and found it worth sharing. A picture like this is really worth a thousand words

Let's Toast to the Ladies

Anti Drinking Campaign - 1919

I don't drink liquor but i do not want to get anywhere near their lips, never ever, ever. This ad is all wrong, in order for someone to actually get anywhere near them one needs to be liquored up, to the extreme. The ultimate sign of extreme being in a constant state of throwing up and that is what i did after seeing this poster, i threw up a little in my mouth. No wonder the whole of America is a huge Alcoholic mess, they did this to themselves just to avoid coming in contact with the ladies featured above. I bet this ad was produced by the liquor companies themselves because they knew the adverse devastating effect of this image on men all over the USA. This ad is a perfect example of reverse psychology, don't show them the evils of drinking instead show them the reward for not drinking and they are bound to drown themselves in alcohol and that is exactly what happened. Hats off to the evil geniuses who came up with such a nasty yet rewarding concept for a campaign.

Please Follow Her

Fri Jul 16 COPPELL, Texas – A city official says the mayor of an upscale Dallas suburb who investigators believe shot dead her teenage daughter before killing herself had been facing a spending review.

City Manager Clay Phillips has told the Dallas Morning News that he asked the city attorney to investigate Coppell (kuh-PEL') Mayor Jayne Peters' city-issued credit card use. The Friday report says Phillips did not provide details of the questionable charges since October.

Foreclosure Listing Service records show Peters' home was foreclosed on last July.( Source Yahoo.com)

Here we have it; the mayor of a small town in USA committed suicide along with her daughter because she didn’t have enough means and measures to support herself and her daughter all the while being the "Mayor" of a small town. Can we imagine something like that happening in Pakistan? Unthinkable is the one syllable answer, our Nazims or MPA’s do not commit suicide firstly because they don't have to and secondly if committing suicide is a form of a sick twisted ritual, then they have people who perform this inhumanely unholy ritual everyday of the week, all over Pakistan, round the year.

It does not matter how bleak the situation is, the absolute worst that the world throws at you does not justify suicide, it just doesn’t, but I wish our politicians take this women as an example and start following in her footsteps so we the people could finally see some light at the end of the tunnel and start hoping once again.

Since we know that our politicians will never ever face a situation of financial rigidness, here are some suggestions to motivate them to go for it and end their life before we, the people end ours:

1) Not getting the agreed upon percentage in an under the table deal

2) Not getting a bullet proof vehicle for their kids to go to school in

3) Not getting a personal helicopter and a helipad

4) Not getting the status of being officially untouchable

5) Not getting the status of being god

6) Not getting the citizen ship of a European Country

7) Not being officially declared as above the law

8) Not being officially declared as exempted from every type of taxation

9) Not getting their faces printed on the currency notes

10) Not getting a Nishan-e-Imtiaz and a mausoleum space reserved for them during their lifetime

I sincerely hope our filthy politicians perform this ritual on themselves ASAP so Pakistan can finally get rid of the Bad Omen surrounding us for the past 63 long and painful years.

You Know

You know you are poor when you sit outside of your house with your laptop turning on its WIFI hoping to steal someone else's wireless

You know you are poor when you wait late at night to steal petrol from someone else's car to use it in your own

You know you are poor when you dream of saving your farts to use as CNG

You know you are poor when you wish you were there at the latest Oil Spill just so you could have collected a free year's supply of oil

You know you are poor when you insist that the man filling petrol lets the very last drop of petrol drop into your petrol tank

You know you are poor when you believe that 2 tooth brushes are enough to last a year

You know you are poor when you do not order delivery to save the tip

You know you are poor when you are hungry as hell but still wait till midnight just to avail the midnight deal

You know you are poor when you ask is there any discount on the buy 1 get1 free deal

You know you are poor when you are constantly on the hunt for deals on anything

You know you are poor when the thought of shopping at Makro turns you on

You know you are poor when you proudly show off your Suzuki FX

You know you are poor when you president asks for aid, from Ethiopia

You know you are poor when you start calculating how much you’ve spent on your kids

You know you are poor when you polish your shoes once a year

You know you are poor when you supposedly go away on a trip just to avoid giving Eidi to kids

You know you are poor when you slaughter a chicken on Eid-ul-Adha

You know you are poor when the bank’s recovery people insist on giving you money

You know you are poor when you use a dial up connection to connect to the internet

You know you are poor when you color you hair black with crayons

You know you are poor when you write your name; address and telephone number on a piece of paper and use it as your visiting card

You know you are poor when you and your wife both use the same cell phone

You know you are poor when you continuously look at the ground while walking in the hope of finding some money

You know you are poor when you bargain over fees with your doctor

You know you are poor when you fake a serious illness just because the ambulance ride costs less than a cab

You know you are poor when no bank offers to give you credit cards

You know you are poor when you try to save your good mood for later use

You know you are poor when beggars on the traffic signal bug every car except yours

You know you are poor when you President is Asif Ali Zardari

You know you are poor when you wait for load shedding to enjoy a candle light dinner, at home

You know you are poor when you still have a ball mouse instead of an optical

You know you are poor when thieves at gun point rob artificial jewelery off your wife and you go to the police station to launch an FIR against them

You know you are poor when a mosquito coil serves two purposes at your home, to drive away mosquitoes and act as a room freshener

You know you are poor when cockroaches at your house commit suicide to avoid death by hunger

You know you are poor when the vendors at light house know you by name

What i want

I want Pakistan to be like the Incredible Hulk, take no shit from anyone and smash to bits everything that comes in my way attitude.
I want Pakistan to be like a reverse swinging in swinging yorker, you miss i hit
I want Pakistan to be like Mc Gyver, resourceful at using anything and everything as a weapon
I want Pakistan to be like Zidane, headbutting every country in the world that tries to annoy us
I want Pakistan to spank the living daylights out of India out of Kashmir
I want Pakistan to show up as the toughest fu**ing mad ass fighter at every UN meeting
I want Pakistan to stick dynamite sticks up every TTP member's poo hole and light it
I want Pakistan to make an action figure of Ahmedinijad and distribute it free to children
I want Pakistan to take a crap on white house's lawn
I want Pakistan to declare Kim Jong-il as its long lost fraternal brother
I want Pakistan to ask other countries to pay ransom to us for not blowing them up
I want Pakistan to name Fidel Castro as the Uncle no one talks about
I want Pakistan to stop getting involved in useless shit created by others
I want Pakistan to whip some much needed sense into Baloch Separatists
I want Pakistan to get its water back from India via missile target practice on their dams
I want Pakistan to name Abdul Qadeer Khan as the baddest Nuclear Scientist ever
I want Pakistan to form a mafia with China, Iran, North Korea and Russia and call it The Fantastic Five
I want Pakistan to employ the Queen of England as the head maid in the President's House
I want Pakistan to ask Hugo Chavez about the appearance of "balls" and how to use them

The Quality Inequality

QA or Quality Assurance is all about developing and implementing solutions with a specific purpose, avoiding the dreaded "OH SHIT, OH CRAP, OH GOD' situation/s but Quality Assurance as commonly perceived by the majority of nitwits is not just about Testing. Yes i agree, testing is a big nay huge part of QA but Quality Assurance in no way can be encapsulated in a nutshell called testing. There are many other factors that contribute just as much as testing towards the successful development of a commercial product that passes the benchmark engraved in stone by the Organization, the standards set by the Client and the standards put in place by the Industry.

The very first and basic requirement of Quality Assurance is, the organization itself should have a Quality Conscience attitude with a strict and a big fat "NO" on making any compromises what so ever on Quality. Hiring absolutely qualified people not the kind who wouldn't know Quality if it bit them in the ass, creating and maintaining a productive, professional but friendly environment across all departments (Zero Toleration towards politics and below the belt personal attacks) ,acquiring tools and latest technologies(Absolutely No Penny Pinching), proper training and human resource management (The right person for the right job) all play a vital role in the development of a product which the company could later boast about.

Then comes the client and his standards, more then often a client will expect quality but will refuse to grant the time or dough required for it. This is a true fact and sadly this is the nature of the outsourced I.T Industry, so what to do in this situation? kick the quality factor out of the product? well you would be a ultra moron if you do so. The simple yet effective solution here is to school the client about the benefits of quality development and quality management. If the client has just an ounce of foresight, he/she will agree and let have your time and required bucks to develop a rich in quality product, but please, please refrain from misusing this opportunity for financial or any other form of unethical gains.

Next come the standards set by the industry itself, here the rule of thumb is that do not assume or think that you are wiser, more intelligent then the person who developed a particular standard. You can be a dumb ass but never a wise ass in this case. Yes the space to innovate is always there provided you are equipped with the knowledge necessary to put the wheels of innovation in motion. The people who developed these standards in the first place knew their business, they worked hard and worked intelligently and then came up with these standards, they demand and deserve respect so honor them by following or innovating them but steer clear from disgracing them by being a quality moron.

People who believe in quality do not vomit rainbows as some myths might suggest, the basic difference between normal and quality cautious people is paying attention to details. There is no such thing as NO QUALITY, but yes there is High Quality and Low Quality.

Quality Assurance is one of the most boring jobs in the world, you are surrounded by paper work all the time, but if you want to look at it from a different angle here's one, consider it as an adventure, because when you are surrounded with paper work the danger of getting multiple repeated paper cuts increases thus endangering your life and making QA an adrenaline pumping adventure.

The QA team is never allowed to assume and you cannot let your mind wonder off, doing the same thing meticulously over and over again gets you your pay check. You have a long list of documents which needs to be updated every time a minor or a major change is requested/forced, the list itself and each and every document on it. The irony is that everyone else is allowed to make mistakes except for the QA team as you are supposed to rectify all the mistakes committed by others.