STFU Zulfiqar Mirza

Just when Karachi breathed a little sigh of relief from all the commotion, useless targeted and random killings, Zulfiqar Mirza once again lights the entire city on fire via the ethnicity flame. The question here is, why would someone in their right mind do such a despicable thing? The answer unfortunately is more than obvious, Political Gains at the cost of human lives. People such as Zulfiqar Mirza know that they don't have the power to give the gift of life to anyone but they unfortunately have the absolute corrupt power to loot, kill, plunder and manipulate. I was watching the news conference live on T.V and just as he uttered those words i said to myself, may god have mercy on Karachi. I knew that tomorrow would not be a good day for Karachi and for the people living in Karachi because of a fool running his mouth uncontrollably.

I also saw some people dragging ZM away from the podium after he was done setting Karachi on fire, because they knew that he had completed his job and achieved the desired target.I also saw Shahi Syed standing besides ZM and smirking away with every foul word uttered by ZM.While coming to my office today i saw many people standing on the roads, waiting for some mode of public transport but unfortunately it was no where to be found. And since our ever some "competent" government had decided to ban pillion riding, i wasn't even able to offer someone a lift. This is what humanity has come to in Karachi, even if you want you cannot help someone in distress and need. And yet the people in power continue to live a shameless life of leisure and luxury while in a delusional state of "Everything is A OK'.

I also saw some people with a very worried look on their face, holding tools in their hands that identified them as Daily Wagers. I don;t care whether ZM is in love with Afaq or Altaf or Iblees, but since he is directly responsible for the unrest today, he should be made to feed the people whose lives depend on the wages that they earn on a daily basis.

And coming onto what he said about "Bhooka Nanaga" people arriving in Sindh after partition and local people of Sindh supporting them, well Mr ZM, Quaid-e-Azam worked day and night to get an independent country for the Nanga Bhooka people, so if you have any problems with them arriving here then its best that you should leave this country and as this would be a welcome step towards making Pakistan a Better Country. Also don't forget to take your boss with you.

Oh, The Humanity

Yesterday was quite a normal day, nothing unusual about it but then the dreaded clock struck 7 and the news about a Dacoit, a Snatcher and a Low Life Thug being shot to death in Benazir park started airing on various news channels. This was not an attention worthy piece of information since as a nation we are now accustomed to hearing gun shots, seeing blood and dead bodies and living our lives constantly under the threat and fear of being bombed or shot at any point of time during broad day light or when the skies turn dark.

But yesterday, the skies did not turn dark, they turned red. Red because of the blood of the youth that was shot in cold blood at point blank range by a few uniformed, courageous protectors of the citizens of Karachi. The video of this entire incident is a chilling reminder that we, as a nation, are on the brink of a huge Mental Collapse. We proved that we all are angry and we want to take our anger out on something or someone by burning some people alive in Karachi, our state of mind reared its ugly head again when the two brothers from Sialkot were lynched to death by an angry mob, and we proved that we are not fit to be called humans when we shot dead a pregnant woman, killing her and her unborn baby, along with 4 other innocent people in Kharotabad. Every day we hear stories about a how a man gruesomely killed his father, mother and the rest of the family or how a man slayed his wife and children for reasons known or unknown.  

I am not going to dwell into the argument of this incident being a breach of the law because we all know that it truly was a slap across the face of the law. But I would like to take a look at it from a humane point of view.  Shooting someone that is pleading for his life at point blank range while looking directly into his begging eyes takes a lot of heart, or no heart or feelings, as a matter of fact. I am pondering over the state of the mind of the ranger’s officials that shot him and then left him there to die a miserable and painful death. I cannot get over the fact that even if the guy was a criminal, a snatcher or a no good excuse for a human being than too shooting him like that must have required a lot of anger inside those rangers’ officials to urge them to commit such a dreadful atrocity against humanity.

Violence and anger are two elements that are increasingly being witnessed on a more regular basis in our society. On the roads, while forming queues, at home, in the workplace and amongst friends, we all seem to solve all our problems though verbal and physical assaults. It’s like we are walking backwards on the path towards ethics and ethical maturity. I don’t know when it all went wrong but sadly it has gone horribly wrong and we have no one else to blame for it but ourselves. We chose the wrong people as our religious leaders, as our political leaders and as our saviors, and when they turned out to be the ultimate bad guys we started to get mad and angry at our own dumbness. But since we were intelligent enough to blame others for our mistakes we started to take our anger out on people who had nothing to do with the misfortune that had befallen us and this practice has now taken a toll on the entire nation.  

Karachi, a Synonym for Awesome

Some and i mean some of the things/people/places/activities which add to the awesomeness of Karachi are:

The dedication and vision of Syed Mustafa Kamal
The awe inspiring web of Flyovers
The Sleek Underpasses
Bugging shop keepers while window shopping at Tariq Road
But actually buying at Light House and Macchi Miyani
The hunt for bargains at Bohri Bazar and Gul Plaza
The guilty pleasure of dating at Bagh Ibn-e-Qasim
Spending quality family time at Safari Park
Traveling in the world famous W-11
Visiting history at Empress Market
The honorable presence of Abdul Sattar Edhi
Witnessing Miracles at the Shrine of Adbullah Shah Ghazi
Eying eye candies at Zamzama
Relaxing after a long day at Sea View
Forgetting the routine troubles of life via a Boat ride at Kemari
Satisfying Faluda cravings at Baloch Ice Cream
Juicing it up at Agha Juice
Shopping wholesale at Chhadi Lane
Paying respect at  Mazar-e-Quaid
Dealing with Karachi Police
The Grandeur of Jinnah Terminal
Searching for and buying automotive spare parts at Shershah and Ranchor Line
Meeting people of different backgrounds and ethnicity
Battling and surviving the traffic at M.A Jinnah Road
Studying while avoiding politics at Karachi University
Visiting and harassing Turtles at Turtle Beach on the night of a full moon
Thanking God for everytime for the easy availability of Pirated cheap copies of different software's at Rainbow Center
Devouring more than delicious food at burns road
Enjoying cool Gola Gandas at Dhora ji
The presence of historical churches and Mohatta Palace
The feeling of serenity while feeding the fish from native jetty bridge
Imagining freedom while feeding the pigeons at the Sindh Assembly round about
The look of Karachi and the way the Buildings look after it rains
Witnessing random acts of kindness by people from all walks of life
The naturally charitable nature of people of karachi who are forcefully labeled as being poor, when in fact they are the richest in the world in terms of humanity
And last but not the least because i live in Karachi

(The awesomeness of Karachi is by no means limited only to the above mentioned facts but this is all i could come up with)

Every one who lives in Karachi automatically qualifies as awesome by extension, a city with a never say die attitude, a city which is the mother of all cities in Pakistan, a city which is unfortunately no longer the city of lights but its heart still glows with the light of kindness and a caring nature which only a mother possesses and i want to end this piece of text on the note saying " I LOVE YOU MA, I LOVE MA KARACHI"

Cruising for a Bruising, NOT

Some rules to follow while cruising on the roads of Karachi:


You have to be hyper crazed all the time while behind the steering wheel, the more hyper the better

Never think that you just own your car, not thinking of the road as your property too is considered as being a jackass

Being courteous is considered as being a pretentious A-hole, don't be one

Being hospitable means you are less of man, so act all manly by refusing to give anyone a helping hand but giving the finger to anyone at anytime with or preferably without any reason is an absolute must

Pedestrians are simply slow moving targets, hit them, keep count and boast about it to your friends

Wearing seat belts is considered lame and a huge waste of time, wear a gun instead

Wearing a gun would come in handy as whenever you get into an argument with a fellow driver start having illicit and explicit sexual verbal relations with his female family members and end it with your gun

You can stop, anywhere for any reason or no reason at all, as your highness pleases

Never give way to a passing car, as someone overtaking you would definitely hurt your manliness and will make you seem like a wuss

At nights drive with at least the high beams on, if your ass is too cheap to buy LED lights

Even if you do not have to be at any place, always act like your behind is in a hurry

Being rude to female and elderly drivers is considered as the most awesome driving act

Road rules are not meant for you, ignorance is bliss, pay absolutely no attention to them

Honk loud and continuously, specially in hospital and school zones

The music system in your car should at least be worth 25 to 50k regardless of the fact that your car itself may only be worth 20k

Play louder than loud music, everybody needs to know that you are a pompous rich supposed celebrity and can afford ear treatment at a later phase in your life

Since life itself is a race, go nuts on the road, Drag Racing is an absolute must

Nothing defines class and status as passengers sitting right on your car doors

Intoxication and driving under influence is extremely COOL

Ambulances are only pretending to be in an emergency with their sirens and the man yelling on the microphone,  the only and the most important emergency is you reaching your destination as quickly as possible. Keep in mind that people will die regardless if you give way to an ambulance or not, so why bother?

Always drive with a smug look on your face with a cigarette in your mouth

Texting while driving gets the onlooking divas all hot and what not for you, the women folk are most impressed by reckless behavior

While driving always act like a Super hero in a hurry to save the day, by doing anything in your power to get ahead of the rest of the cars

Always keep a 50 Rupees note handy in your pocket for the cops

There are no predefined slow or fast lanes, deciding which speed to drive in and in which lane, solely depends on your mood

Always overtake from the wrong side and confuse the living daylights out of other drivers

In case of a minor accident, never ever be a pansy and admit your fault

In case of a major accident and resulting casualties, run like hell away from the crime scene

Traffic signals are just kidding, they don't really want you to stop on a red light

Think of every road as a F1 track and you are Michael Schumaker

You were born a driver, no need to get a driving license

Always blame everything on the driver of the bigger vehicle

It is a common sight in Karachi to see an unfortunate broken down vehicle and the driver of that vehicle pushing it alone with a worried look on his sad face and that can fill you with compassion, if that happens you are allowed to make his day by yelling "Maachis doon kia" on the top of your lungs while passing by the scumbag

The more your car pollutes, the cooler it becomes by extension

Render every argument invalid by mentioning your contacts

Failure to follow any one of these rules most probably will result in an ego threatening experience, don't let that happen,  be a rule abiding citizen, always follow every rule mentioned here and you are good to go for the pleasure of driving on the roads of Karachi.