Upcoming Horror Movies in the IT Sector

The bugs have eyes

I know what you coded last summer

I still know what you coded last summer

Evil Code

The Haunted Software

Codeophobia

The Psycho Project Manager

OCD - Obsessive Coding Disorder

Project on Elm Street

The Insane Tester

The Blair Witch Project Manager

The Blog

Rosemary's Code

QAcula

The Exorcism of Emily's Code

Invasion of the Data Snatchers

Dr. Code and Mr. QA

Night of the Living Errors

Frankerrorstein

The Phantom of the Database

I'll post more as soon as i think of some

(Originally posted on 4/14/2010, updated on 29/01/2011)

Tadapta Client

Developer ki Maut

Katil Manager


Shaitani Requirement

Blackbox ka khauf

Sadma error ka

Pyasa Coder

Some Pics Worth Sharing

A Creative Comparison

This is the Columbus, Ohio family that just had the sixtuplets, A priceless picture indeed!

Finally, The truth has been revealed!!

Poetic Resignation

(Posted as received through a forwarded email)

The name is good, the brand is big
But the work I do is that of a pig

The work or the brand; what is my way?
I don’t know if I should stay.

To work, they have set their own way
Nobody will care to hear what I say

My will be NULL, they wont change their way
I don’t know if I should stay.

The project is in a critical stage
But to do good work, this is the age

This dilemma is killing me day by day
I don’t know if I should stay.

The money is good, the place is great
But the development is at a very small rate

Should I go for the work, or wait for pay
I don’t know if I should stay!

The managers don’t know what they talk
The team doesn’t know where they walk

That’s a bad situation, what say?
I don’t know if I should stay.

I can go to any other place
But what if I get the same disgrace

I can’t keep switching day by day
I don’t know if I should stay.

The -ves are more, the +ves are less
Then why have this unnecessary mess

No more will I walk their way,
It’s all done, I won’t stay.

Thanks & Regards
Hard Working Employee

Funny People

Today i was stuck in a terribly bad traffic jam at Tibet Centre for about a painful hour or so.  Since i had nothing else to do besides inhaling toxic fumes coming from the buses, listening to the god-awful, psychologically torturing noise coming from the rickshaws and noticing how motorcycle riders will do anything to get passed the traffic jam by using the footpath as the 4th lane of traffic or by being a nuisance zigzagging in front of other cars, i diverted my attention from the fact that no matter what i do i will never get this hour of my life back which i spent slow poisoning myself by observing the doings of the people around me.

As i looked around searching and scanning the proximity for anything remotely interesting besides the Rickshaw driver next to me putting his hand under his kameez and enjoying the sensation of scratching his sweaty armpits and right after eating a samosa with the same hand, i noticed some commotion coming from a mini bus. A mini bus as we all know is always at the heart of exciting and intriguing chain of events so naturally i too rose from my seat to investigate the happenings currently under way in or should i say on the mini bus.

What i saw next was of course filled with irony but was also funny like nothing i had seen in the past couple of years. Two guys sitting on the roof of the mini bus had gotten into a fight and the rest of the roof dwellers were trying their best to stop them but were also trying their best to avoid falling off from the roof of the mini bus, which could later be reported by the leading news channels as synchronized failed suicide attempt by a group of people. The two guys both were in a very awkward position because of the limited availability of space and safety measures provided by the owner of the minibus so they were busy fighting while laying down in a fetal position both holding on to the legs of the other street fighting artist.

In the meanwhile the verbal battle continued on ferociously and i lost count of the women mentioned by name or by relation. When the roof crowd gave up on their efforts to stop the brawl, the driver had to get involved by standing on the entrance by which he enters the driving area and he started trying to somehow separate the two young guns from making a mockery of the sacred roof top of the minibus but he too failed to break the bond of anger and revenge between the two passengers from hell.

This went on for sometime and eventually two Rangers appeared from their mobile which was also stuck in the traffic jam and did the thing for which they are famous for. One ranger pulled the driver down, got up on the entrance and smacked both of the fighters silly. While the other ranger got on top of the roof and brought the guys down by their collars. Things would have gotten more interesting but sadly the traffic started moving and the rangers let them off the hook by giving stringent warnings and lecturing them about the code of conduct while traveling on the roof of a moving vehicle.

I have no doubt in my mind that something like this could only happen in Pakistan, not because of the people happily traveling on the roof of a public transport vehicle and paying the conductor to degrade them, i have seen similar scenes in India where people commute via a train's rooftop but a fight on the roof is our monopoly, only we are this fearless, no other nation or country compares or comes remotely close.

Long live Pakistan, the land of Fierce, Fearless Hearts and long live our transport system for giving a platform to our star fighters to make their debut Nationally .(no pun or sarcasm intended, i seriously mean it)

Suicide Blogger

Have you ever thought about what would happen if bloggers were brainwashed into becoming extremist, fundamentalist terrorist's?.What harm, pain and suffering would they be able to inflict on the common man and to what extent? Now using or misusing various modern day acronyms i will try to paint a scenario where blogs and bloggers are humanity's worst nightmare and are considered to be public enemy number 1:

A News Caster on CNN breaking the following news:
TBP = Tehreek-e-Bloggeraan Pakistan an offshoot of Afghani Bloggers claims responsibility for the deadly verbal attack in Karachi.

President Bush vows to take a strong stance against the Axis of Adjectives

The CIA submits its reports on finding Sentences of mass destruction in Iraq to the Congress

We fear that Noun Weapons and Verb Bombs could fall into the wrong blogger's hands in Pakistan: President Obama

Saddam Hussain has warned that if America decides to invade Iraq, it would take him just one click to update his blog and unleash the fury via RSS feeds

According to our overseas correspondent in Afghanistan Wordpress Umar is the spiritual commander of the Afghan Bloggers and Blogspot Mehsud is the leader of Tehreek-e-Bloggeraan Pakistan both sharing a common bond and love of a mutual target, to beat the infidel's blog in back links and securing the top spot in search results

Al-Qontent is the extremist element in the ranks of the Afghan bloggers which is held responsible for the epic demise of the fundamentalist afghan blogger regime. Al-Qontent is accused for carrying out various Black Hat SEO techniques on numerous blogs causing the Page Rank of the said blogs to tumble down: APP Sources

Osama dustbin Laden is the chief blogger and Ayman az Zawahiri is the official editor and proof reader of Al-Qontent

The captured blogger has disclosed valuable information regarding his training as a Suicide Blogger, when asked about the training he said, during my training i was taught how to use alphabets to assemble words and sentences and how to use them in a deadly and ferocious way to cause maximum psychological damage whenever the text comes in contact with the human eyes and as well as physical damage through paper cuts if someone was to print my block of text on a piece of paper.

The Diabolical Diaper

It has been a little more than 3 years since god graciously awarded me the status of being a father, a care taker and a mentor. The first attempt of me trying to be a dad fetched me a wonderful package of love, cuteness and heavenly blessings in the form of a daughter and i think because somehow i managed to do an OK job with loving, caring for and raising her i caught god's attention and he decided to give me a bonus for doing my job in the form of twins, a boy and a girl. The twins are now 14 months old and are more than a handful but i would not have it any other way since the joy they have brought me compares with nothing, absolutely nothing that the world has to offer partially or in its entirety.

During my time as a father i observed that the ridiculously expensive side of being a father is buying diapers, worrying about diapers and arranging for a back up stock all the time. It would not be wrong on any level to say that the diaper industry is shitty business, your pay every time your kid takes a dump or leak. Who knew you can earn from shit produced by kids but the diabolical diaper people are making a fortune off of it the world over.

Sadly enough as with every other necessity and luxury coined as necessity the price of diapers too has skyrocketed over the years and i am left with this thought occupying my mind every time i see my kids making funny and weird faces during their poo process, man their shit is getting expensive and its my money practically going down the drain and i am left to watch it nay endure it every time, over and over again. Come to think of it, i am taking a butt lot of shit from my boss to earn a living only to spent it on my kids who only give a crap about it in return.

In the old days it was a joy and an achievement to see your kids getting potty trained but now it has become a financial necessity too to get them off the damn diaper and on to the potty since its getting harder for me by the minute to afford their crap, no pun intended. The strange thing is that it seems like kids are hooked on diapers, i mean my wife uses cloth home made diapers too but the darn kids refuse to deposit their business in it but as soon as she puts a diaper on them they start delivering and man can they deliver. Well i can take some solace in the fact that they fill the diaper all the way up to its limits leaving me with a sense of money well spent or Paisa Wasool.

Now coming on to the modus operandi of the diaper manufacturers, they make all sort of nice ads, sometimes offering humanitarian aid along the way, some what colorful packaging and all sorts of benefits, catchy names and what not only to encourage the consumer to buy their made to handle shit product, that's right, there is no nicer of way saying it or putting it in any other words. They also offer ass wipes with a in your face attitude, keep wiping not only your kid's behind but also your money. The ass wipes might make my babies behind as soft as a baby's behind but for me they are like sand papers, coarse and unforgiving.

The brand of diapers that i buy are named Pearl, now if that's not adding insult to injury i don't know what is. A pearl does not and will never contain human feces so why is it named so? I can come up with no other rubbing it my face reason except for because for them it contains the earning potential of a real pearl.

I would like to warn the diaper manufacturers of the dire consequences if they do not take it easy on middle class working Joes like me and reduce prices of the poo holding devices known as diapers manufactured and proudly marketed by them through the lyrics of the song sung by sting because well it stings, my warning should not be taken lightly and it reads as follows:

Every dump my kids take
Every poo they make
Every single day
Every time i pay
I'll be cursing you, diaper jerks

Bosses and their Types

Just got this in a forwarded email and found it worth sharing

The Climber

The Social Director

Our Hero

The Hatchet Man

The Propeller Head

The Lost Lamb

The Visionary

The Bureaucrat

The Fogey

The Dictator

You Know

You know you are poor when you sit outside of your house with your laptop turning on its WIFI hoping to steal someone else's wireless

You know you are poor when you wait late at night to steal petrol from someone else's car to use it in your own

You know you are poor when you dream of saving your farts to use as CNG

You know you are poor when you wish you were there at the latest Oil Spill just so you could have collected a free year's supply of oil

You know you are poor when you insist that the man filling petrol lets the very last drop of petrol drop into your petrol tank

You know you are poor when you believe that 2 tooth brushes are enough to last a year

You know you are poor when you do not order delivery to save the tip

You know you are poor when you are hungry as hell but still wait till midnight just to avail the midnight deal

You know you are poor when you ask is there any discount on the buy 1 get1 free deal

You know you are poor when you are constantly on the hunt for deals on anything

You know you are poor when the thought of shopping at Makro turns you on

You know you are poor when you proudly show off your Suzuki FX

You know you are poor when you president asks for aid, from Ethiopia

You know you are poor when you start calculating how much you’ve spent on your kids

You know you are poor when you polish your shoes once a year

You know you are poor when you supposedly go away on a trip just to avoid giving Eidi to kids

You know you are poor when you slaughter a chicken on Eid-ul-Adha

You know you are poor when the bank’s recovery people insist on giving you money

You know you are poor when you use a dial up connection to connect to the internet

You know you are poor when you color you hair black with crayons

You know you are poor when you write your name; address and telephone number on a piece of paper and use it as your visiting card

You know you are poor when you and your wife both use the same cell phone

You know you are poor when you continuously look at the ground while walking in the hope of finding some money

You know you are poor when you bargain over fees with your doctor

You know you are poor when you fake a serious illness just because the ambulance ride costs less than a cab

You know you are poor when no bank offers to give you credit cards

You know you are poor when you try to save your good mood for later use

You know you are poor when beggars on the traffic signal bug every car except yours

You know you are poor when you President is Asif Ali Zardari

You know you are poor when you wait for load shedding to enjoy a candle light dinner, at home

You know you are poor when you still have a ball mouse instead of an optical

You know you are poor when thieves at gun point rob artificial jewelery off your wife and you go to the police station to launch an FIR against them

You know you are poor when a mosquito coil serves two purposes at your home, to drive away mosquitoes and act as a room freshener

You know you are poor when cockroaches at your house commit suicide to avoid death by hunger

You know you are poor when the vendors at light house know you by name

What i want

I want Pakistan to be like the Incredible Hulk, take no shit from anyone and smash to bits everything that comes in my way attitude.
I want Pakistan to be like a reverse swinging in swinging yorker, you miss i hit
I want Pakistan to be like Mc Gyver, resourceful at using anything and everything as a weapon
I want Pakistan to be like Zidane, headbutting every country in the world that tries to annoy us
I want Pakistan to spank the living daylights out of India out of Kashmir
I want Pakistan to show up as the toughest fu**ing mad ass fighter at every UN meeting
I want Pakistan to stick dynamite sticks up every TTP member's poo hole and light it
I want Pakistan to make an action figure of Ahmedinijad and distribute it free to children
I want Pakistan to take a crap on white house's lawn
I want Pakistan to declare Kim Jong-il as its long lost fraternal brother
I want Pakistan to ask other countries to pay ransom to us for not blowing them up
I want Pakistan to name Fidel Castro as the Uncle no one talks about
I want Pakistan to stop getting involved in useless shit created by others
I want Pakistan to whip some much needed sense into Baloch Separatists
I want Pakistan to get its water back from India via missile target practice on their dams
I want Pakistan to name Abdul Qadeer Khan as the baddest Nuclear Scientist ever
I want Pakistan to form a mafia with China, Iran, North Korea and Russia and call it The Fantastic Five
I want Pakistan to employ the Queen of England as the head maid in the President's House
I want Pakistan to ask Hugo Chavez about the appearance of "balls" and how to use them

Main Shayar to Nahi (I.T Mix)

Main coder to nahin
(Main coder to nahin, magar ae framework
Jab se use kia maine tujhko
Mujhko programming aa gai)
Main tester to nahin, magar ae application
jab say test kia main tujhko
mujhko testing aa gayi

Main coder to nahin
(Language ka naam maine suna tha magar
Syntax kya hai, yeh mujhko nahin tha khabar)
Main to uljha raha amateur ki tarha
source main ghusa raha eik bug ki tarah
main error to nahin
main error to nahin, magar ae test environment
jab se dekha maine tujhko
mujhko bug fixing aa gayi

Main coder to nahin
(Sochta hoon agar main overwrite maarta
Backup utha kar k tawaan maangta)
Jab se black mail tujhko main karne laga
tab se jaise ameer main honay laga
Main data theif to nahi
Main data theif to nahi, magar ae open database
Jab se dekha maine tujhko
Mujhko data migration aa gayi

Main coder to nahin magar ae framework
Jab se use kia maine tujhko
Mujhko programming aa gai
Main coder to nahin

Social Sharabi Nerd

Inteha Ho Gayi Intezaar Ki
Aayi Na koi email Mere Yaar Ki
Yeh hamain hai yaqeen
Offline woh nahi
Phir wajah kia hui
No Reply ki

SMS Jo Hain Us k
Waisay SMS kisi aur k nahi
Woh Hai Meri friend aur main us ka friend Myspace pay
Saath Saath Hai Woh Mere Facebook aur Orkut pay
Friends List Mein Woh Nahin Toh Kuchh Nahin Hai Meri list Mein

Band na ho jaay yeh tweets twitter Ki

Inteha Ho Gayi Intezaar Ki
Aayi Na koi email Mere Yaar Ki
Yeh hamain hai yaqeen
Offline woh nahi
Phir wajah kia hui
No Reply ki

Ho Oooo Mere Sajana Lo Main online ho Gayi
Block nahi ho, kyun ho daray sehmay
Layi Hoon Main Tere Liye IM Mera
Dil Yahi Maange chat history Kabhi Ho Na fanaa
Mera Hai Mera Hi Rahe Messenger Tera
Yeh Meri online presence Hai Teri

Tu Mera Farmville
Main hoon neighbor teri
O Mere Sajana Lo Main online ho Gayi

Facebook pay Ban Ke Andhere Dhale Bujh Gaye ehtijaaj Bhale
Account active kia to jaan main jaan aayi
Status update say page sajay sary groups Jagay
Video aur photos main tag karkay tujhay Sharmaayi
Chaa Gayi Phir bahar friend requests ki

Woh Ghadi Kho Gayi Intezaar Ki
Aa Gayi ab Speed DSL Ki
Yeh Nasha Yeh Khushi Ab Na Kam Ho Kabhi

Na paray kabhi zaroorat "Forgot Password Ki"

(My apologies to the writer and composer for messing with their master piece)

Remix This!!!!

Vacancy Announcement

A scantily clad, desperate for recognition/attention, willing to do anything to get a little of  her face and a lot of other private parts on T.V, skank is needed for a remix video. Girls with little or no self esteem, suicidal tendencies due to inferiority complex should immediately send in their Portfolios ( nude or at least revealing is preferred) to give us a chance to get into their pants vis-a-vis on the casting couch. To apply, your age must be above 18 and below 25, no fatty's please, the less experienced the better so freshers are strongly encouraged to apply,  send in your pretend "Resumes" ( indicating your age, height, weight and moral ethics) to me@gettingsometail.com. We do not discriminate on the basis of ethnicity, color, race or language. But we do discriminate where it matters the most, Men are strictly not allowed, not even crazy gay ones, Feminists are not welcome at all, Conservative goody two shoes need not apply and Sentimental bitches with STD's, stay the hell away from us.

This is how i picture the ad given by Indian producers and directors of remix videos whenever they are about to commit debauchery by taking a rare, classic master piece and beating the soul out of its melody by "remixing" it.

So you want to recycle something old  into something new by adding some modern touches and spices, OK go forth, but why the heck do you insist on insulting the artists and composers who made the original by shooting a trashy, D-Grade, obscenely vulgar video of that song. Isn't it enough that you have robbed the creator of his creation and made a fool of the genius who created the original? but No, you go one step forward and kill the audio appeal along with its visual appeal as well, all in the name of  pepping it up.

Just because you think that you have some talent doesn't necessarily mean its true. I firmly believe that DJ this and DJ that who are thought of as the masters of remixes are actually anything but musicians, just because i know how to hold a cricket bat does not make me a batsman, similarly knowing how to play a musical instrument does not make any one a musician let alone capable of having the talent to monkey with a classic set of musical notes.

I know Mother Earth needs us to Recycle but in the case of Recycling music, i bet Mother Nature would feel a lot better if we decide not to Recycle at all and let the Polluted old music live.

Stupid, Strict Translations

Following are some strictly literal Urdu to English Translations of commonly used sentences and famous movie dialogues :

• Lalay, Naukri kar, Ghulami na kar
• Pathan's son, job do, slavery no do
•  
• Chotay, Chai la
• Junior, tea get
• 
  
• Tamatar kaisay diay?
• Tomatoes how give
• 
  
• kuch kam to karo
• some less to do
• 
  
• Bade bade desho mein aisi chhoti chhoti baatein hoti rehti hein.
• Big Big Countries in this small small things happening
• 
  
• Don ka intzaar to gyarah mulko ki police kar rahi hai Sonia, Lekin itna jan lo ki DON ko pakadna mushkil hi nahi, na mumkin hai.
• Don for waiting eleven countries police Sonia, but this know DON to arrest difficult not only impossible is
• 
  
• Mohabbat bhi zindagi ki tarah hoti hai, har mod aasan nahi hota, har mod par khushi nahi milti.... Par jab hum zindagi ka saath nahi chodte to hum mohabbat ka saath kyon chhode."
• love too life is like, every turn easy not, every turn on happiness not get... but when we life along not let go then we love along why let go
• 
  
• Tum soch rahi hogi ki main yeh race kyo haar gaya. Main yeh race tumhare liye har gaya. Tumhi ne kaha tha na ki mere dad ke saamne ye iki, riki, piki sab fail ho jaate hai. Kabhi-kabhi kuch jitne ke liye kuch haarna padta hai Aur haar kar jitne wale ko Baazigar kehte hai.
• You thinking that me this race why lost. i this race for you lost, you only said no that my father in front this iki, riki, piki everything fails. Sometime sometime some winning for some lose have to and lost after winning is Baazigar called
• 
  
• Mogambo khush hua
• Magambo happy is
• 
  
• AAJ ....aaj ek zindagi aur jeelo .aaj ek hasin aur baathlo, aaj ek sapna aur dekhlo , aaj ek aason aur peelo
• Today... today one life more live. Today one smile more spread, today one dream more see, today one tear more drink
• 
  
• Yeh bacchhon ke khelne ki cheez nahi, haath kat jaaye toh khoon nikal aata hai.
• This kids for playing for thing not, hand cut if then blood out comes is.
• 
  
• Mooche ho to Nathulal jaise ho….warna na ho
• Mustache have like Nathulal like have... otherwise not have
• 
  
• Sara saher mujhe lion ke naam se jaanta hai
• Whole city me lion name knows
• 
  
• Police ne tumhe charon taraf se gher liya hai – apne aap ko kannon ke haawale kar do
• Police have your four directions from surrounded have - yourself you law to surrender to
• 
  
• Chalti Ka Naam Gadi
• Moving is named car
•  
• Mere Paas Maa Hai
• I near mother is
•  
• Arrey oh sambha kitney admi they
• O yee Sambha how many men were
•  
• Chal Dhano! Aaj teri Basanti ki izzhat ka saawal hai
• walk dhanno! today your basanti of  respect for question is
•  
• Hum jaha pe khade ho jaate hein, line wahi se shuru hoti hai
• we where standing, queue there begins from
• 
  
• Rishtey main to hum tumhare baap lagte hain magar naam hai Shenshah
• Relation in I your father am but name is Shehshah
• 
  
• Kanoon ke haath bahut lambe hote hain
• Law of hands lot long has
• 
  
• Basanti in kutto ke samne mat nachna
• Basanti these dogs in front of not dance

As always more to come soon

Some Do's and Dont's of Online Dating

Anyone who says online dating is a good way to find your soul mate is a lying retard and a loser. If you are online trying to find your significant other it only means that you have gone past rock bottom and are destined to live your life alone and die a loner's death. Honestly if you weren't such a woman repeller your family or friends might have succeeded in getting you married in a arranged way or you yourself might have successfully struck the right chord with someone already, and since you have not, it doesn't take rocket science to predict the happenings in the future of your non existent love life. I know you are one stubborn son of a gun and are bent upon making someone miserable for the rest of their life, so here are some do's and dont's of online dating.

DON’T be a Poser
The info highway is cramped with losers like you so stop pretending that you are not. Just be you lame self and someone might actually, even out of pity give you a second thought. The person on the other side of the monitor is just as big a loser as you are so why pretend?

Post your own Face
Be true to yourself and your creator and post your own pics, no matter how terribly fugly they might be. Posting fake pictures is considered as a shenanigan and will get you no where (like you are going places). Remember even negative publicity is a form of publicity itself so if a flattering picture can attract eyes, so can a butt ugly one. And one more thing, no risque photos, if no body wants to see your face, showing them your private parts will not win them over.

The First Step
Don't start your communications with a big whiny statement. Stop draining energy from the person you are communicating with by boring them with your sad stories, nobody wants to listen to the pathetic stories concerning your past or your life altogether. Be positive, but not HIV positive. I know being positive is not your thing but you can at least try. Don't be afraid to fail, if it doesn't work out don't admit to being a loser, call her a skank and move on to the next one.

DON’T be too Desperate
You might not be familiar with what a woman's touch feels like but that doesn't give you an excuse to act like a happy fool and start blurting your personal information out as soon as you talk to one. Someone might try to kill you in an attempt to rid the world of ugly if you give out your address to every crazy girl/woman/lady/trany you get in touch with online. Protecting yourself at all times is essential as people need to see the difference between pretty and horrific.

DO be a Clingy Doormat
Just when you manage to engage yourself in a serious relationship, don't ruin it all by not being a whipped, clingy, ultra sensitive doormat of a man. Don't take it slow, remember slow and steady wins the race but in your case mentally slow and steadily crazy will not make you a winner so just hang on to her like dear life. Don't make the same mistake of thinking that you are someone again, keep reminding yourself that you are a nobody and thank your lucky stars that someone has agreed to be in a relation ship with you and start worshiping them immediately.

DO lookout for Scams
Just because a supposed to be girl seems interested in you should not get you too excited. There are many online scams designed specifically for dumb desperado's like you, so watch out for them. If someone asks you for money or your bank accounts details to be your "friend", straight away tell them that you are a sad little excuse for a human being with no money and no potential. Tell them you have all the traits of a millionaire, you are bald, middle aged, extremely desperate for loving except you don't have a million bucks. This will surely scare all the scams away. 

These are but just some of the tips i am giving to helpless losers, so don't act like a wise ass, take my advice and turn your life around for the better.

Pakistan needs YOU

Ladies and Gentleman, Hear Yee Hear Yee,

Once again we as a nation are required to help the green shirts out their misery in the ongoing T20 World Cup.

You all are therefore requested to perform the following actions for the sake of Pakistan and Team Pakistan:

• Since there is no way in hell that Team Pakistan can reach the semi finals, finals and defend its title by itself, you are all requested to pray like there is no tomorrow.
• Start repenting for your sins and for the sins committed by Team Pakistan at least one hour before Pakistan and South Africa face off.
• Watch the match in a state of complete ablution while seated on a prayer mat.
• Instead of concentrating on watching the match, concentrate on praying hard with tears in your eyes.
• Contact a certified Voodoo Master or Witch Doctor and pay him to cast a horrible spell on the Proteas as to kill them, physically cripple them or temporary making them insane, whichever option is doable.
• Recite Holy Verses so our team concentrates on the match and not on the spectators or the cheerleaders and consequently does not drop any catches or misfields in a state of horniness.
• It is highly recommended that people should be in a state of Prostration all the while the match is in progress.
• Consider Proteas as the advocates of The Devil, curse and verbally abuse the crap out of them.
• If somehow Pakistan manages to reach the semis, it automatically becomes mandatory on everyone watching to feed two hungry poor people.
• The Semi Final should be watched only by people observing a fast.

If Pakistan does manage to reach the semi's, then the finals and miraculously defends its title then you are all allowed to party in the streets, raise the roof, let loose an orgy of public property destruction, cause a mayhem and disrupt traffic and let all hell break out because we are the champions of crazy, crazy champions indeed.

In Honor of Google

Google search, Google search
Google all the way
Oh, what fun it is to search
In a one search field display
Google search, Google search
Google all the way
Oh, what fun it is to search
In a one search field display

Dashing through the web
Just a click away
Through the sites we go
Crawling all the way
Seeing the backlink's might
Making keywords bright
Great fun is optimizing right
A Highranking site tonight

Google search, Google search
Google all the way
Oh, what fun it is to search
In a one search field display
Google search, Google search
Google all the way
Oh, what fun it is to search
In a one search field display

A link or two ago
I thought I'd submit my site
And soon a rank on my page
Was witnessed by my sight
The crawler is fast and sharp
collecting is his forte
Tags and content is what he wants
if not then it gets upset

Oh, Google search, Google search
Google all the way
Oh, what fun it is to search
In a one search field display
Google search, Google search
Google all the way
Oh, what fun it is to search
In a one search field display, yeah