To whom it may concern,
There is a very lucrative position lying vacant in Tunisia and Egypt for the person who's good at Kissing Ass. The degenerate incumbent will be responsible for sucking up to the American Presidency and protecting Israeli interests all over the world. In return, the American puppet will be honored with the opportunity to become the unlawful President of either Tunisia or Egypt, and will get every opportunity to loot and plunder his country and the people living in that country. Protection of Israeli interests is mandatory regardless of how many human lives are sacrificed in achieving this goal.
The last person we hired as the President of Tunisia also worked as a pimp for Europe for 23 years straight, supplying them with girls for brothels, pubs and sex slaves trade. He made a butt load of dollars from doing this, so we recommend that you polish your pimping skills by being a pimp of your own mother, sister, or daughter before applying.
The last person we hired as the President of Egypt was given then unmatched opportunity to oppress the people of Egypt for 30 years straight. Not only did he oppress the people of Egypt, but he also enjoyed the sight of dieing Palestinians without food, water and medical supplies. The reason we are telling you all this is because we want you to realize the competition and the size of the shoes that you will be filling. But remember this, even after you work your ass off for us, in case of a popular uprising from the people we will not come to cover your ass. Our contract with you is only till you are in power, after which we have no use for you. So make sure that you remain in power till you die by doing anything and everything possible to please us and make use of every opportunity to displease god.
The interested delinquent should immediately contact the nearby US Embassy and demonstrate his/her sucking skills in person, in front of and on the US Ambassador. The test of sucking up skills is mandatory for all candidates as the future of your employment depends solely on this skill. Is is therefore highly recommended that all the hopeful applicants should first practice this skill of theirs on blow up dolls or on a banana. After going through the suction test, the incumbent can send his complete and updated CV containing all his/her previous criminal records to iwantokissurass@USpresident.com.
There is a very lucrative position lying vacant in Tunisia and Egypt for the person who's good at Kissing Ass. The degenerate incumbent will be responsible for sucking up to the American Presidency and protecting Israeli interests all over the world. In return, the American puppet will be honored with the opportunity to become the unlawful President of either Tunisia or Egypt, and will get every opportunity to loot and plunder his country and the people living in that country. Protection of Israeli interests is mandatory regardless of how many human lives are sacrificed in achieving this goal.
The last person we hired as the President of Tunisia also worked as a pimp for Europe for 23 years straight, supplying them with girls for brothels, pubs and sex slaves trade. He made a butt load of dollars from doing this, so we recommend that you polish your pimping skills by being a pimp of your own mother, sister, or daughter before applying.
The last person we hired as the President of Egypt was given then unmatched opportunity to oppress the people of Egypt for 30 years straight. Not only did he oppress the people of Egypt, but he also enjoyed the sight of dieing Palestinians without food, water and medical supplies. The reason we are telling you all this is because we want you to realize the competition and the size of the shoes that you will be filling. But remember this, even after you work your ass off for us, in case of a popular uprising from the people we will not come to cover your ass. Our contract with you is only till you are in power, after which we have no use for you. So make sure that you remain in power till you die by doing anything and everything possible to please us and make use of every opportunity to displease god.
The interested delinquent should immediately contact the nearby US Embassy and demonstrate his/her sucking skills in person, in front of and on the US Ambassador. The test of sucking up skills is mandatory for all candidates as the future of your employment depends solely on this skill. Is is therefore highly recommended that all the hopeful applicants should first practice this skill of theirs on blow up dolls or on a banana. After going through the suction test, the incumbent can send his complete and updated CV containing all his/her previous criminal records to iwantokissurass@USpresident.com.
