You Know

You know you are poor when you sit outside of your house with your laptop turning on its WIFI hoping to steal someone else's wireless

You know you are poor when you wait late at night to steal petrol from someone else's car to use it in your own

You know you are poor when you dream of saving your farts to use as CNG

You know you are poor when you wish you were there at the latest Oil Spill just so you could have collected a free year's supply of oil

You know you are poor when you insist that the man filling petrol lets the very last drop of petrol drop into your petrol tank

You know you are poor when you believe that 2 tooth brushes are enough to last a year

You know you are poor when you do not order delivery to save the tip

You know you are poor when you are hungry as hell but still wait till midnight just to avail the midnight deal

You know you are poor when you ask is there any discount on the buy 1 get1 free deal

You know you are poor when you are constantly on the hunt for deals on anything

You know you are poor when the thought of shopping at Makro turns you on

You know you are poor when you proudly show off your Suzuki FX

You know you are poor when you president asks for aid, from Ethiopia

You know you are poor when you start calculating how much you’ve spent on your kids

You know you are poor when you polish your shoes once a year

You know you are poor when you supposedly go away on a trip just to avoid giving Eidi to kids

You know you are poor when you slaughter a chicken on Eid-ul-Adha

You know you are poor when the bank’s recovery people insist on giving you money

You know you are poor when you use a dial up connection to connect to the internet

You know you are poor when you color you hair black with crayons

You know you are poor when you write your name; address and telephone number on a piece of paper and use it as your visiting card

You know you are poor when you and your wife both use the same cell phone

You know you are poor when you continuously look at the ground while walking in the hope of finding some money

You know you are poor when you bargain over fees with your doctor

You know you are poor when you fake a serious illness just because the ambulance ride costs less than a cab

You know you are poor when no bank offers to give you credit cards

You know you are poor when you try to save your good mood for later use

You know you are poor when beggars on the traffic signal bug every car except yours

You know you are poor when you President is Asif Ali Zardari

You know you are poor when you wait for load shedding to enjoy a candle light dinner, at home

You know you are poor when you still have a ball mouse instead of an optical

You know you are poor when thieves at gun point rob artificial jewelery off your wife and you go to the police station to launch an FIR against them

You know you are poor when a mosquito coil serves two purposes at your home, to drive away mosquitoes and act as a room freshener

You know you are poor when cockroaches at your house commit suicide to avoid death by hunger

You know you are poor when the vendors at light house know you by name

Zardari Facts

After Chuck Norris and Rajnikanth, here are some fresh facts about Zardari:

Zardari can even rob a man with no money
Zardari can multiply by zero and produce a number greater than zero
Zardari can sell you a piece of land on Mars
Zardari can make sugar taste bitter
Zardari can make anyone a bhutto
Zardari can get away with murder
Zardari can tell an absolute truth and make it sound like a complete lie
Zardari can make money without doing any business
Zardari can deceive the Devil
Zardari can teach the devil new tricks
Zardari public toilets were once made, the problem was they just wouldn't stop overflowing with shit
Zardari can be used as a new term for getting mobbed (Dude 1 : Man i got zardarid on my way back from office. Dude 2: That's so sad)
Zardari can be used as a new term for money laundering ( Jury: We find the defendant guilty of zardari. Judge: I sentence you to 20 years of imprisonment)
Zardari can be used as a brand ambassador for corruption
Zardari can control the flow of money (out of the pockets of others to his own)
Zardari can hug the Alaska out of Palin
Zardari can ask for a donation, at a beggars convention
Zardari is wrongly quoted as being the 5th Richest Person in Pakistan, when in fact he is the richest
Zardari can bug the living bejesus out of Chief Justice
Zardari can make the fake hair on Nawaz Sharif's head fall off
Zardari can bring the dead back to life, whenever he visits the cemetery the dead people run away to save their bones from being stolen

These were but just some of the facts i managed to think of about Zardari, Readers addition are most welcome.