Please Follow Her

Fri Jul 16 COPPELL, Texas – A city official says the mayor of an upscale Dallas suburb who investigators believe shot dead her teenage daughter before killing herself had been facing a spending review.

City Manager Clay Phillips has told the Dallas Morning News that he asked the city attorney to investigate Coppell (kuh-PEL') Mayor Jayne Peters' city-issued credit card use. The Friday report says Phillips did not provide details of the questionable charges since October.

Foreclosure Listing Service records show Peters' home was foreclosed on last July.( Source Yahoo.com)

Here we have it; the mayor of a small town in USA committed suicide along with her daughter because she didn’t have enough means and measures to support herself and her daughter all the while being the "Mayor" of a small town. Can we imagine something like that happening in Pakistan? Unthinkable is the one syllable answer, our Nazims or MPA’s do not commit suicide firstly because they don't have to and secondly if committing suicide is a form of a sick twisted ritual, then they have people who perform this inhumanely unholy ritual everyday of the week, all over Pakistan, round the year.

It does not matter how bleak the situation is, the absolute worst that the world throws at you does not justify suicide, it just doesn’t, but I wish our politicians take this women as an example and start following in her footsteps so we the people could finally see some light at the end of the tunnel and start hoping once again.

Since we know that our politicians will never ever face a situation of financial rigidness, here are some suggestions to motivate them to go for it and end their life before we, the people end ours:

1) Not getting the agreed upon percentage in an under the table deal

2) Not getting a bullet proof vehicle for their kids to go to school in

3) Not getting a personal helicopter and a helipad

4) Not getting the status of being officially untouchable

5) Not getting the status of being god

6) Not getting the citizen ship of a European Country

7) Not being officially declared as above the law

8) Not being officially declared as exempted from every type of taxation

9) Not getting their faces printed on the currency notes

10) Not getting a Nishan-e-Imtiaz and a mausoleum space reserved for them during their lifetime

I sincerely hope our filthy politicians perform this ritual on themselves ASAP so Pakistan can finally get rid of the Bad Omen surrounding us for the past 63 long and painful years.

Zardari Facts

After Chuck Norris and Rajnikanth, here are some fresh facts about Zardari:

Zardari can even rob a man with no money
Zardari can multiply by zero and produce a number greater than zero
Zardari can sell you a piece of land on Mars
Zardari can make sugar taste bitter
Zardari can make anyone a bhutto
Zardari can get away with murder
Zardari can tell an absolute truth and make it sound like a complete lie
Zardari can make money without doing any business
Zardari can deceive the Devil
Zardari can teach the devil new tricks
Zardari public toilets were once made, the problem was they just wouldn't stop overflowing with shit
Zardari can be used as a new term for getting mobbed (Dude 1 : Man i got zardarid on my way back from office. Dude 2: That's so sad)
Zardari can be used as a new term for money laundering ( Jury: We find the defendant guilty of zardari. Judge: I sentence you to 20 years of imprisonment)
Zardari can be used as a brand ambassador for corruption
Zardari can control the flow of money (out of the pockets of others to his own)
Zardari can hug the Alaska out of Palin
Zardari can ask for a donation, at a beggars convention
Zardari is wrongly quoted as being the 5th Richest Person in Pakistan, when in fact he is the richest
Zardari can bug the living bejesus out of Chief Justice
Zardari can make the fake hair on Nawaz Sharif's head fall off
Zardari can bring the dead back to life, whenever he visits the cemetery the dead people run away to save their bones from being stolen

These were but just some of the facts i managed to think of about Zardari, Readers addition are most welcome.

Things that make you go hmmmmm

Here are some things (in no particular order) that are sure to make anyone go hmmmmm

• A donkey on Facebook has more fans than Zardari
• Meera talking in english
• Naveed Qamar not napping in an assembly session
• Chaudhary Shujat Hussain talking
• Musharraf saying he is not afraid of death while being surrounded with an army of body guards
• Qazi Hussain giving a Pro American speech
• Imran Khan not blaming the government for everything evil
• News Channels not blowing things out of propotion
• Government of Pakistan standing up for itself
• PPP not using Benazir as their triumph card
• Zaid Hamid's theories
• Shoaib Sania wedding Fiasco
• Saeed Ajmal holding on to a catch
• Raja pervaiz Ashraf announcing a deadline for load shedding
• Shoaib Akhter not getting injured after a match
• A Pakistani film getting nominated for an Oscar
• Traffic cops rejecting bribes
• Bilawal calling himself a Bhutto (Controversial, i know)
• An actually educated MNA
• Sheikh Rasheed not making any predictions
• Kalabagh Dam

More to come soon

From the Elite to the People of Pakistan

We will we will rob you
We will we will rob you

People you are our slaves trapped in vice
Protesting on the roads attempting to change us nice
We throw mud on your face
And Vanish without trace
Killing your dreams with malice

We will we will rob you
We will we will rob you

People you all are dumb ignorant mice
Protesting on the roads attempting to change us nice
You shed your blood for our race
Waving our flag with high pace
And in return get disgraced

We will we will rob you
We will we will rob you

People you all are fool poor men
Pleading with your eyes Bleeding, ending your worthless lives
We throw mud on your face
And Vanish without trace
Beneath our shoes is your true place

We will we will rob you
We will we will rob you