Pakistan needs YOU

Ladies and Gentleman, Hear Yee Hear Yee,

Once again we as a nation are required to help the green shirts out their misery in the ongoing T20 World Cup.

You all are therefore requested to perform the following actions for the sake of Pakistan and Team Pakistan:

• Since there is no way in hell that Team Pakistan can reach the semi finals, finals and defend its title by itself, you are all requested to pray like there is no tomorrow.
• Start repenting for your sins and for the sins committed by Team Pakistan at least one hour before Pakistan and South Africa face off.
• Watch the match in a state of complete ablution while seated on a prayer mat.
• Instead of concentrating on watching the match, concentrate on praying hard with tears in your eyes.
• Contact a certified Voodoo Master or Witch Doctor and pay him to cast a horrible spell on the Proteas as to kill them, physically cripple them or temporary making them insane, whichever option is doable.
• Recite Holy Verses so our team concentrates on the match and not on the spectators or the cheerleaders and consequently does not drop any catches or misfields in a state of horniness.
• It is highly recommended that people should be in a state of Prostration all the while the match is in progress.
• Consider Proteas as the advocates of The Devil, curse and verbally abuse the crap out of them.
• If somehow Pakistan manages to reach the semis, it automatically becomes mandatory on everyone watching to feed two hungry poor people.
• The Semi Final should be watched only by people observing a fast.

If Pakistan does manage to reach the semi's, then the finals and miraculously defends its title then you are all allowed to party in the streets, raise the roof, let loose an orgy of public property destruction, cause a mayhem and disrupt traffic and let all hell break out because we are the champions of crazy, crazy champions indeed.

Bravo boys, Bravo

Congratulations to team Pakistan for finally getting what it really deserved, getting almost kicked out of the T20 event. Seeing Pakistan lose restored my faith in divine justice, you reap what you sow.

Pakistan is on the brink of getting disgracefully eliminated and this is the only logical answer of its sucking, and man did Pakistan suck in this tournament, kind of broke all previous records of sucking by any team, not counting Afghanistan as they are pretty new to the game of cricket and sucking, but otherwise Pakistan did a wonderful job.

Afridi in the post match interview seemed quite happy and content with the performance of his team and himself and why not, all the Pakistani players are very sure of the fact that they are all indispensable and nothing they do or don't will affect their permanent spot in the team.

We surely would have made a complete mess of it all if it was Pakistan fielding on the last ball and the fielder was Saeed Ajmal. He not only would have dropped the catch but there would have over throws as well since Kamran Akmal would not have been able to collect the ball cleanly with his head shoved up his own ass and consequently not being able to see the ball, the bowler would have been standing in the middle of the pitch scratching his behind mimicking a chimpanzee, Afridi would have been preoccupied with the thoughts of which ad to do next and the rest of the numb nuts too busy in conspiring against Afridi or some other player.

Salman Butt tried to be a smart ass by shifting the spotlight on to poor Abdul Rehman, banishing, cursing and leaving a ugly scar on his remaining career. But what else can we accept from a player with the caliber and mindset of Salman Butt, a politically classic move by a not so classic dimwitted player.

The most annoying part of watching Team Pakistan getting the crap smacked out of it was watching it on Geo Super. Geo Super not only crossed the limits but it ventured into new depths of vulgar display and distasteful timing of advertisements. After every minute or a couple of balls the viewers were forced to watch the disgustingly inserted ads which were only adding insult to injury.

The only good thing to come of this T20 Event was Wasim Akram and his acting talent. Wasim bhai you have for sure proved that you are a much better actor than Shahid Afridi, much better by miles. Congratulations on achieving this milestone and conquering a new frontier. And congratulations to Shahid Afridi too for not being able to defend the title but at least he does not have any dandruff in his hair so it makes everything OK and since he has the best mobile connection in town, he can send everyone a SMS explaining what went wrong and how.

As for Pakistan another title, another honor and another great opportunity is about to bite the dust but who cares, not me for sure.