Monday, May 2, 2011

Hell Called, Your Place is Reserved

Finally some glad tidings, Osama Dustbin Unladen has been officially laid to rest. Good riddance, the world now has one less A-Quality, Fanatic, A-hole to deal with. But it would have been better for Pakistan if his ass wasn’t bombed in Pakistan. What now awaits us is a new wave of finger pointing, endless whining and the nonstop strings of told you sos from the rest of the countries in the world especially the expert in mind numbing whining and nagging, India.

The TTP has obviously denounced the death of their sugar daddy similarly as they did when the crap was blown out of their illegitimate dad Baitullah Mehsud. The high level intelligence officials in Pakistan too are keeping their mouths firmly shut in fear of not getting more funds to loot and plunder. The government officials have chose not to utter a single statement on this issue fearing being publicly and permanently tattooed as America’s Bitch and the army too is hiding behind covers fearing attacks on their buses and convoys.

Mr Obama told the press that he got in touch with the President of Pakistan before this operation and “informed” him about the events about to unfold. That’s mighty great of Mr Obama to “inform” us before hand. I believe the conversation went something like this:

Obama: Yo Zardari, what up?
Zardari: Nuffin much, just chillin, relaxin, corruptin
Obama: Dude, I called for some serious shit, we found Bin Laden, he’s in Pakistan
Zardari: OMG Really, you aren’t fu**ing with me, are you?
Obama: No man I am serious, we found him dead in Afghanistan, bought his body to Pakistan and now we are about to launch an operation to kill his dead body. You down with that?
Zardari: Man, why did you kill him, he was the reason we was getting all the security, protocol and everything.
Obama: Dude, elections are coming up in 2012, this time a video message wasn’t enough to guarantee my win and his satellite phone bills were getting ridiculously high, plus he was making unreasonable demands like attending the royal wedding and shit.
Zardari: what about the reward you guys were offering, whose gonna get that reward?
Obama: Man, stop talkin about money, you’ll get your share
Zardari: Ok then, I am ready to get jiggy with it
Obama: Tell Kiyani and others to co-operate or else I will unleash Petraeus on their asses.
Zardari: Ok, but they were asking for an increase in the defense budget
Obama: Man, they can have their hike in budget, Aiman and Omar are there to keep the threats real. I am about to pop open a bottle of champagne, I don’t have time to discuss this shit now. Watch me on the TV, I am about to address my peeps, just hired a new stylist, tell me how I look
Zardari: Dude, you always look good, If you were a women and white I swear I would be all over you
Obama: Man, don’t say all that, Wiki might be hearing, ok then later dude.

Update:

I got some criticism from some of my readers telling me that my behavior was not appropriate towards the death of a fellow "Muslim". Well, if that is the case than i choose to mourn the death of Saif-ul-Islam Gadhhafi. Even though he is accused of misuse of and getting drunken with power, atleast he did not malign islam, his actions did not make life a living hell for muslims all over the world and he did not lead astray an entire generation of what could have been some of the greatest minds of the muslim world.

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