My Code Will Go On – Celine Dion
Right Here Testing for You – Richard Marx
(Every Project I Do) I Do It For You – Bryan Adams
Nothing’s Gonna Change My Code For You – Glenn Medeiros
I Will Always Lead You – Whitney Houston
The Sound of Software – Simona & Garfunkel
I Just Coded To Say I Love You – Stevie Wonder
I Still Haven't Found the requirements - U2
Come Code With Me - Frank Sinatra
Programmers Working Overtime - XTC
Project Will Keep Us Together - the Captain and Tennille
If I Can't Change Your Requirements - Sugar
Bittersweet SDLC - the Verve
I Heard It Through The SRS - Marvin Gaye
Everybody's Coding - Harry Nilsson
Take Me To The Server - Al Green
Sympathy For The Client - Rolling Stones
The Project In The Bubble - Paul Simon
Papa Was A Project Manager - the Temptations
Ain't Too Proud To Test - the Temptations
Last Great American Bug - Lou Reed
Back In Linux - AC/DC
I Feel The Requirements Move - Carole King
You Should Be Coding - Bee Gees
Big Portal, No Hits - Randy Newman
That's The Way (I Nuke It) - KC and The Sunshine Band
More to come soon
Friday, May 7, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Stand up for the losers
I am not a devoted follower of cricket per se but whenever Pakistan is playing i do take some time out to watch, hoping to see Pakistan loose. I know this must be sounding very unpatriotic to the readers but for a moment stop being patriotic and think from a rational point of view. Does Pakistan really deserve to win big titles with such players and performance? The answer is a plain, simple and honest no.
Luck might favor the brave but victory favors hard work. Pakistan did not and does not deserve to win while riding on the shoulders of luck alone, the glory of being crowned victorious belongs to them who keep their feet firmly planted on the foundation of hard work and dedication.
Do we ever see the players of Australia, South Africa or England complaining about luck or hidden elements of nature? no we don't, why, because hard work triumphs luck most of the time, the only team fit to curse luck is South Africa and we don't see them doing that at all, never ever.
Only cowards and sore losers blame others and other things for their failures and short comings, real men take steps to avoid failures and set backs and when they are faced with failure they do not give lame excuses to cover their own faults.
In today's match the run out of Afridi was a classic and repetitive example of a cricketer having suicidal tendencies. But that's not all, Saeed Ajmal takes the cake for being the hero for England. Thank God he is able to hold on to his set own set of balls better then a cricket ball. I wonder if and when the management of the Pakistani cricket team sends him off to England or any other foreign country to get him examined for the holes in his hands. But will he or we learn anything from it? No way, we are too proud a team, a team of Talentless, Money Hungry Fame Whores.
Whenever i see the manipulative face of Kamran Akmal my blood starts to boil, i don't understand, why the hell is he still in the team. How hard is it for a keeper to collect the ball cleanly and hit the stumps. Why don't Sangakara or Brandon Mc Cullum act like morons while in the field. Why is Pakistan the only team to be bestowed with this honor of having a moronic under qualified wicket keeper.
Now for the cherry on the cake, we have a notorious match fixer himself as a fielding coach. Having known this fact and mentioned it here i believe i should stop writing because it all makes perfect sense now, the coach, the players and the fielding.
Congratulations to England for being the better team and playing a better game, lets see what excuse our great captain comes up with in his press conference.
Luck might favor the brave but victory favors hard work. Pakistan did not and does not deserve to win while riding on the shoulders of luck alone, the glory of being crowned victorious belongs to them who keep their feet firmly planted on the foundation of hard work and dedication.
Do we ever see the players of Australia, South Africa or England complaining about luck or hidden elements of nature? no we don't, why, because hard work triumphs luck most of the time, the only team fit to curse luck is South Africa and we don't see them doing that at all, never ever.
Only cowards and sore losers blame others and other things for their failures and short comings, real men take steps to avoid failures and set backs and when they are faced with failure they do not give lame excuses to cover their own faults.
In today's match the run out of Afridi was a classic and repetitive example of a cricketer having suicidal tendencies. But that's not all, Saeed Ajmal takes the cake for being the hero for England. Thank God he is able to hold on to his set own set of balls better then a cricket ball. I wonder if and when the management of the Pakistani cricket team sends him off to England or any other foreign country to get him examined for the holes in his hands. But will he or we learn anything from it? No way, we are too proud a team, a team of Talentless, Money Hungry Fame Whores.
Whenever i see the manipulative face of Kamran Akmal my blood starts to boil, i don't understand, why the hell is he still in the team. How hard is it for a keeper to collect the ball cleanly and hit the stumps. Why don't Sangakara or Brandon Mc Cullum act like morons while in the field. Why is Pakistan the only team to be bestowed with this honor of having a moronic under qualified wicket keeper.
Now for the cherry on the cake, we have a notorious match fixer himself as a fielding coach. Having known this fact and mentioned it here i believe i should stop writing because it all makes perfect sense now, the coach, the players and the fielding.
Congratulations to England for being the better team and playing a better game, lets see what excuse our great captain comes up with in his press conference.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Brain Hemorrhage
Pakistan has been constantly facing biological warfare from India for the past almost 10 years or so and this war is being fought in a very sophisticated way through a lifeless and seemingly harmless apparatus known as Television or the Idiot Box. Because i get Star Plus on my cable service i would insist on calling my T.V as an Idiot Box simply because whenever star plus is on, it makes my T.V look like an Idiot. And not the good kind of Idiot as in 3 Idiots but an Idiot Idiot.
But things only get worse from here, not only do the Indian channels make my T.V look bad, the serials or soap operas being aired on them can easily kill anyone with a brain by giving them a Brain Hemorrhage, thankfully i don't have the habit of watching such over the line dimwitted programs.
But all is not well, i fear for my family as my wife and my mom are simply addicted to them, and i fear that they might get effected by Brain Hemorrhage or at least get dumber and dumber if they keep on watching such non sense making, pretend goody goody, religiously subliminal trashy programming.
A couple of days ago me and THE wife got into an argument over the remote control of the T.V and the remote being in her possession, i was forced to watch a serial with her. But as soon as my brain realized the catastrophic situation, it went blank, fortunately because of all the wonderful documentaries and quality reading my brain has programmed itself to not accept and save any trash or rubbish.
While watching the serial i could literally and figuratively feel my brain cells committing suicide, my wit being dimmed, my common sense being violated and got the distinct feeling of my intelligence being raped. And it was then that a whole new dimension of the term "SERIAL Rapist" became visible to me. Before i started to bleed out of my eyes and ears, i stopped watching, just to live another day.
The serial was poorly directed, ridiculously scripted, over acted by every actor, lacking any concept of any kind, was far away from any ground reality and made absolutely no sense what so ever at all.
The Dialogues were poorly written, the women were always crying, the men were always in the house but their business went on smoothly without any problems or any need of their presence, all of the cast members lived in huge lavish mansions, the men have nothing better to do then to participate in womanly affairs, the stupid twists in the story, Plastic surgeries and narrow escapes from death every time but the most strange thing was how the characters greeted each other in a typical hindush way was perplexing to say the least.( i have been to India myself many times and i have yet to see any real person greeting or being greeted the way they show in their serials).
The makers of such serials are bona fide superior quality Douche-bags, but what anger's me the most is they think the audience is made up of complete dumb asses who would gladly watch their serials and let them make a complete fool out of themselves at their own expense. Cultural media war fare is one thing but trashy T.V, now that's just insulting and ludicrous.
I am sure there are many people out there who share the same views as i do but keep in mind i was compelled to write about this after watching only one episode of one serial, and i am sure the people who are forced to watch these serials regularly would have a lot more and a lot worse to say about the lame serials being aired on star plus and other Indian channels.
Practice safe viewing (wear ear plugs and blindfolds)to avoid STD's (Satellitically Transmitted Diseases)spread by the Indian T.V channels, may God save us all from Brain Hemorrhage and other diseases spread by the Indians now and always. (Amen)
But things only get worse from here, not only do the Indian channels make my T.V look bad, the serials or soap operas being aired on them can easily kill anyone with a brain by giving them a Brain Hemorrhage, thankfully i don't have the habit of watching such over the line dimwitted programs.
But all is not well, i fear for my family as my wife and my mom are simply addicted to them, and i fear that they might get effected by Brain Hemorrhage or at least get dumber and dumber if they keep on watching such non sense making, pretend goody goody, religiously subliminal trashy programming.
A couple of days ago me and THE wife got into an argument over the remote control of the T.V and the remote being in her possession, i was forced to watch a serial with her. But as soon as my brain realized the catastrophic situation, it went blank, fortunately because of all the wonderful documentaries and quality reading my brain has programmed itself to not accept and save any trash or rubbish.
While watching the serial i could literally and figuratively feel my brain cells committing suicide, my wit being dimmed, my common sense being violated and got the distinct feeling of my intelligence being raped. And it was then that a whole new dimension of the term "SERIAL Rapist" became visible to me. Before i started to bleed out of my eyes and ears, i stopped watching, just to live another day.
The serial was poorly directed, ridiculously scripted, over acted by every actor, lacking any concept of any kind, was far away from any ground reality and made absolutely no sense what so ever at all.
The Dialogues were poorly written, the women were always crying, the men were always in the house but their business went on smoothly without any problems or any need of their presence, all of the cast members lived in huge lavish mansions, the men have nothing better to do then to participate in womanly affairs, the stupid twists in the story, Plastic surgeries and narrow escapes from death every time but the most strange thing was how the characters greeted each other in a typical hindush way was perplexing to say the least.( i have been to India myself many times and i have yet to see any real person greeting or being greeted the way they show in their serials).
The makers of such serials are bona fide superior quality Douche-bags, but what anger's me the most is they think the audience is made up of complete dumb asses who would gladly watch their serials and let them make a complete fool out of themselves at their own expense. Cultural media war fare is one thing but trashy T.V, now that's just insulting and ludicrous.
I am sure there are many people out there who share the same views as i do but keep in mind i was compelled to write about this after watching only one episode of one serial, and i am sure the people who are forced to watch these serials regularly would have a lot more and a lot worse to say about the lame serials being aired on star plus and other Indian channels.
Practice safe viewing (wear ear plugs and blindfolds)to avoid STD's (Satellitically Transmitted Diseases)spread by the Indian T.V channels, may God save us all from Brain Hemorrhage and other diseases spread by the Indians now and always. (Amen)
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Darn Amplifier
What do you get when you mix a car with a Woofer and an Amplifier? The Amplifier song by Imran Khan. Never ever did i thought that one day someone is going to profess his love for the car and the sound system in it by creating and singing a song about it and metaphorically aiming it on his girlfriend to make it look O.K.
I pity Ghalib for not using donkey carts, horse carts and bull carts as metaphors for love and affection in his poetry. What a shame, Ghalib had the chance to redefine poetry and he completely missed the opportunity. Now Amplifier, this really is music to the ears, no matter how weird it sounds. The foundation has been laid for everyone to profess love for their means of transport, like i would write a song for my legs praising my pants, shoes, socks, toes and nails etc.
But after hearing the amplifier song i could not help but wonder because the lyrics hint that the singer is either gay for his car or the woofer or the amplifier and in any case that's a very strange kind of gay. The girlfriend in this song is just a piece of showpiece used to make the car look even better. Moreover the singer mentions that he is going to use the breaks of the car to make his girlfriend scream and get his freak on, meaning the singer is into some kinky stuff as well. I have heard of a girl getting married to her laptop but that's understandable, maybe she met someone on the internet, fell in love with him, things didn't work out between them and now in a state of denial she thinks that her prince charming lives inside the laptop so just marry it and the prince will automatically come to her. But being gay for a car, now that's some serious food for crazy thoughts.
The singer also mentions that he is going to drive at a speed of 220, i don't know whether he means miles or kilometers and he also openly declares that he is not even going to stop for the police and in a state of delusion he thinks he's a knight rider, but the problem is that knight rider was the car's name and not of the driver's. Thus making the gay for the car thing become more obvious.
After a couple of verses into the song the singer suddenly realizes that his secret is out so he pretends to be straight by making a lame attempt through vaguely mentioning something about the T-Shirt of his girl friend getting wet due to excessive sweating in the heat and while in the state of being wet he asks his girlfriend to touch the car and turn on the AC. See the singer was trying to pose as straight but ended up looking BI, if not completely gay for his car.
But having said all of the above i must admit that the song does have a very nice beat to it and it kind of grows on you little by little until you too are completely gay for you car or the sound system in it.
I pity Ghalib for not using donkey carts, horse carts and bull carts as metaphors for love and affection in his poetry. What a shame, Ghalib had the chance to redefine poetry and he completely missed the opportunity. Now Amplifier, this really is music to the ears, no matter how weird it sounds. The foundation has been laid for everyone to profess love for their means of transport, like i would write a song for my legs praising my pants, shoes, socks, toes and nails etc.
But after hearing the amplifier song i could not help but wonder because the lyrics hint that the singer is either gay for his car or the woofer or the amplifier and in any case that's a very strange kind of gay. The girlfriend in this song is just a piece of showpiece used to make the car look even better. Moreover the singer mentions that he is going to use the breaks of the car to make his girlfriend scream and get his freak on, meaning the singer is into some kinky stuff as well. I have heard of a girl getting married to her laptop but that's understandable, maybe she met someone on the internet, fell in love with him, things didn't work out between them and now in a state of denial she thinks that her prince charming lives inside the laptop so just marry it and the prince will automatically come to her. But being gay for a car, now that's some serious food for crazy thoughts.
The singer also mentions that he is going to drive at a speed of 220, i don't know whether he means miles or kilometers and he also openly declares that he is not even going to stop for the police and in a state of delusion he thinks he's a knight rider, but the problem is that knight rider was the car's name and not of the driver's. Thus making the gay for the car thing become more obvious.
After a couple of verses into the song the singer suddenly realizes that his secret is out so he pretends to be straight by making a lame attempt through vaguely mentioning something about the T-Shirt of his girl friend getting wet due to excessive sweating in the heat and while in the state of being wet he asks his girlfriend to touch the car and turn on the AC. See the singer was trying to pose as straight but ended up looking BI, if not completely gay for his car.
But having said all of the above i must admit that the song does have a very nice beat to it and it kind of grows on you little by little until you too are completely gay for you car or the sound system in it.
Friday, April 30, 2010
Facebook, Facepalms
Urbandictionary states the following about Facepalm: "A spontaneous reaction to an amazingly stupid statement, where the face of the listener or reader meets with his/her palm in a smacking manner". And according to wikipedia "A facepalm is a gesture used as an expression of embarrassment, frustration, disbelief, disgust or general woe".
There have been quite a few occasions on which i was forced to do a Facepalm myself while on Facebook so i decided to write about some facepalm situations commonly witnessed on Facebook. The need for addressing the facepalm situation came about after i had read numerous insanely dimwitted Status Updates, viewed photographs and went through the comments left by my friends and their friends and their friends and so on, all the time feeling compelled to ask the only logical question, "WTF is wrong with you all"?.
From plain silly to mind numbingly stupid Status updates, Provocative and Socially Compromising pics, whenever i log on to Facebook i can't help but feel that people are getting moronic by the second, i mean first they pose in their underwear, post it on facebook for others to admire and comment and then complain about their privacy being invaded. Hello, if you want Privacy then stop inviting stalkers via a drool fest of your pictures. If you really are hungry and desperate for attention and are so willing to go to these extreme lengths for it, seek mental help rather then covering up your attention deficit syndrome.
Here are some common Facebook Facepalms i see most often:
Self Porn Portraits ( Don't invite Stalkers and for teens stop inviting pedo's)
Minute details in Status Updates ( Nobody wants to know when you went into the bathroom and for what)
Adding your boss to your friends list and complaining about your job (Classic Facepalm)
Gossiping about coworkers (Another vintage Facapalm)
Discussing your work related projects (Simply stupid, you know you have a "send private message" option for these kinds of things)
Discussing other employment opportunities ( How dumb can you be?)
Adding your immediate family members to your friends list and discussing your sex life (They don't need and want to know how you get your freak on)
The list can go on for very long but i seriously doubt it will have any effect on anybody because if it could Einstein wouldn't have said "There's a limit to everything but there's no limit for human stupidity".
There have been quite a few occasions on which i was forced to do a Facepalm myself while on Facebook so i decided to write about some facepalm situations commonly witnessed on Facebook. The need for addressing the facepalm situation came about after i had read numerous insanely dimwitted Status Updates, viewed photographs and went through the comments left by my friends and their friends and their friends and so on, all the time feeling compelled to ask the only logical question, "WTF is wrong with you all"?.
From plain silly to mind numbingly stupid Status updates, Provocative and Socially Compromising pics, whenever i log on to Facebook i can't help but feel that people are getting moronic by the second, i mean first they pose in their underwear, post it on facebook for others to admire and comment and then complain about their privacy being invaded. Hello, if you want Privacy then stop inviting stalkers via a drool fest of your pictures. If you really are hungry and desperate for attention and are so willing to go to these extreme lengths for it, seek mental help rather then covering up your attention deficit syndrome.
Here are some common Facebook Facepalms i see most often:
Self Porn Portraits ( Don't invite Stalkers and for teens stop inviting pedo's)
Minute details in Status Updates ( Nobody wants to know when you went into the bathroom and for what)
Adding your boss to your friends list and complaining about your job (Classic Facepalm)
Gossiping about coworkers (Another vintage Facapalm)
Discussing your work related projects (Simply stupid, you know you have a "send private message" option for these kinds of things)
Discussing other employment opportunities ( How dumb can you be?)
Adding your immediate family members to your friends list and discussing your sex life (They don't need and want to know how you get your freak on)
The list can go on for very long but i seriously doubt it will have any effect on anybody because if it could Einstein wouldn't have said "There's a limit to everything but there's no limit for human stupidity".
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