Remix This!!!!

Vacancy Announcement

A scantily clad, desperate for recognition/attention, willing to do anything to get a little of  her face and a lot of other private parts on T.V, skank is needed for a remix video. Girls with little or no self esteem, suicidal tendencies due to inferiority complex should immediately send in their Portfolios ( nude or at least revealing is preferred) to give us a chance to get into their pants vis-a-vis on the casting couch. To apply, your age must be above 18 and below 25, no fatty's please, the less experienced the better so freshers are strongly encouraged to apply,  send in your pretend "Resumes" ( indicating your age, height, weight and moral ethics) to me@gettingsometail.com. We do not discriminate on the basis of ethnicity, color, race or language. But we do discriminate where it matters the most, Men are strictly not allowed, not even crazy gay ones, Feminists are not welcome at all, Conservative goody two shoes need not apply and Sentimental bitches with STD's, stay the hell away from us.

This is how i picture the ad given by Indian producers and directors of remix videos whenever they are about to commit debauchery by taking a rare, classic master piece and beating the soul out of its melody by "remixing" it.

So you want to recycle something old  into something new by adding some modern touches and spices, OK go forth, but why the heck do you insist on insulting the artists and composers who made the original by shooting a trashy, D-Grade, obscenely vulgar video of that song. Isn't it enough that you have robbed the creator of his creation and made a fool of the genius who created the original? but No, you go one step forward and kill the audio appeal along with its visual appeal as well, all in the name of  pepping it up.

Just because you think that you have some talent doesn't necessarily mean its true. I firmly believe that DJ this and DJ that who are thought of as the masters of remixes are actually anything but musicians, just because i know how to hold a cricket bat does not make me a batsman, similarly knowing how to play a musical instrument does not make any one a musician let alone capable of having the talent to monkey with a classic set of musical notes.

I know Mother Earth needs us to Recycle but in the case of Recycling music, i bet Mother Nature would feel a lot better if we decide not to Recycle at all and let the Polluted old music live.

Zardari Facts

After Chuck Norris and Rajnikanth, here are some fresh facts about Zardari:

Zardari can even rob a man with no money
Zardari can multiply by zero and produce a number greater than zero
Zardari can sell you a piece of land on Mars
Zardari can make sugar taste bitter
Zardari can make anyone a bhutto
Zardari can get away with murder
Zardari can tell an absolute truth and make it sound like a complete lie
Zardari can make money without doing any business
Zardari can deceive the Devil
Zardari can teach the devil new tricks
Zardari public toilets were once made, the problem was they just wouldn't stop overflowing with shit
Zardari can be used as a new term for getting mobbed (Dude 1 : Man i got zardarid on my way back from office. Dude 2: That's so sad)
Zardari can be used as a new term for money laundering ( Jury: We find the defendant guilty of zardari. Judge: I sentence you to 20 years of imprisonment)
Zardari can be used as a brand ambassador for corruption
Zardari can control the flow of money (out of the pockets of others to his own)
Zardari can hug the Alaska out of Palin
Zardari can ask for a donation, at a beggars convention
Zardari is wrongly quoted as being the 5th Richest Person in Pakistan, when in fact he is the richest
Zardari can bug the living bejesus out of Chief Justice
Zardari can make the fake hair on Nawaz Sharif's head fall off
Zardari can bring the dead back to life, whenever he visits the cemetery the dead people run away to save their bones from being stolen

These were but just some of the facts i managed to think of about Zardari, Readers addition are most welcome.

Who let the Englishmen Out?

Is the only question that comes to mind when we look back at the finals of the T20 world cup. Collingwood must have burned a lot of midnight wood to motivate and carve his team into deserving champions.

Right from the go of the tournament the English team looked and behaved like clones of Kevin Peterson, Fintoff and Collingwood, all pumped up, excited, focused and take no shit from no one policy. To take on the mighty Kangaroos proved too tough for all the teams, all hopeful in the beginning and returning in a hopeless situation from the ground after the match was over.

Australia practically molested the talent out of every team they faced, but when it came to England, the Aussies weren't able to team bang the victory out of them.

England came prepared, all stone faced, cool attitude and with a chastity belt on every player which prevented the Aussie players from doing any hanky panky with the English playboys.  The Australian wild horses pace attack was finally tamed by the not so Wild West English team. Not only did they tame it, but rode the ego out of those wild horses in their victory lap.

The England attack led by Kevin Peterson and Kieswetter proved to be more than a nuisance to contain and finally Australia surrendered their unholy urges to repeat the nasty with England that they did with every team they faced during the tournament. Here I feel I should say something nice about Kieswetter, but what can I do, his name is just too damn inviting insult,  ridicule and pun funny. It sounds like a kinky fetish involving keys, locks and a whole lot of nasty and naughty. He must have had a very tough and tormenting childhood and his school and college days worst when compared with any nightmare in the world.

In all the years of Cricket, never have i seen faces glowing with pride and smug, like the way the faces of the T20 Champions were.A truly deserving feast for the eyes is when you see a working hard and working intelligent, deserving to win team actually win. The one and only logical question which comes to mind now is was the English Team celebrating their victory in the T20 Tournament or were they instinctively celebrating their win in the 2011 World cup as the world champions? We'll have to wait and watch for this eye candy.

Now since the English team is finally Out of it's Misery and Proud, who will put them back in the closet and close the flood doors opened by them? I sincerely hope NO ONE.

Facebook or Facadebook?

The hate loving race of Super Morons are at it again and this time they have decided to use facebook as their weapon of mass anger. The simple question here is what are they aiming to achieve by doing all this? Is it fame, fortune or just the thought of angering the much docile Muslims enough to motivate them to perpetrate a heinously blasphemous act like this. They are doing this in the name of freedom of speech and as a reaction to Comedy Central’s decision to censor an episode of South Park with depictions of Prophet Muhammad [PBUH].

But is it really considered Freedom of Speech if your speech hurts, demeans or belittles a particular group, people or race? I beg to differ. The United States is protected by the First Amendment to the United States Constitution and by many state constitutions and state and federal laws.

There are exceptions to these general protections, including the Miller test for obscenity, child pornography laws, speech that incites imminent danger, and regulation of commercial speech such as advertising.

Even if the concept of Freedom of Expression and Speech is not clear to some dumb retards, why is it that the K.K.K are disliked and banned? They are just expressing what they feel is right. Why are people forced to accept Holocaust as a reality and denying it is considered as a crime in many countries, if i choose to believe that there was no such thing as holocaust, I would be promptly labeled as a Jew hating Maniac.

Muslims all over God's green earth have every right to protest against this insane behavior of some individuals who just want to incite Muslims into doing something terrifyingly BIG. And if any such thing happens the world as we know it will once again blame the Muslims and launch war on terror version 2.0.

Facebook itself on the other hand is doing its part in supporting this nasty, worthless cause. Even after Facebook received least 35,000 abuse reports (i can bet my life that the numbers must be quadrupled by now) it very conveniently decided to ignore it all when it is on record that Facebook banned a Anti Semitic Page with-in 20 minutes of its reporting by Jews.

Facebook is governed under its Terms of Services. Item 3.7 of Facebook TOS says “You will not post content that: is hateful, threatening, or pornographic; incites violence; or contains nudity or graphic or gratuitous violence” but on this occasion Facebook itself is violating its TOS and for what? A cause as worthless as a pile of shit resting beneath 500 feet of Rock-bottom resting on top of a 1000 layers of disgusting crap.

Many Muslim countries have already banned that page or facebook altogether along with other social media websites, and almost all the Muslim users except for the lame liberal losers have already deactivated their accounts on facebook or will not use facebook on the 18th, 19th and 20th May as a means to record their protest against the sick twisted, double standard policy of facebook and that is the most right and honorable thing to do given the current circumstances. If facebook had chose to act diligently and ban the crap out of that sad little pathetic page in the early days this entire scenario could have been easily avoided.

I have already deactivated my account by giving facebook the finger along with this message:

I am deactivating my account to record my protest against the double standard policies of facebook. An Anti Semitic page gets removed immediately but a page insulting and committing blasphemy against the greatest personality known to mankind Muhammad (S.A.W.W) goes unnoticed and continues to spread hatred against Muslims all over the world. This has to end and we will make it end now.

The WEB GIANT known as Facebook needs to be taught the age old lesson now, the BIGGER you are, the HARDER you fall.

Messing with Celine Dion

Every night in my dreams
I design you, I develop you
That is how I know the project will go on

Far across the frame works
And the languages between them,
The requirements keep going on and on

Near, far, however connected you are
I believe that the internet goes on
Once more you open the source
To review and Audit my code
That is how I know the project will go on

A Beta version launches just one time
And can last for a long time
And never let go till the client's gone

Leadership was when I led you
One true time I ruled you
In that time the Design Patterns went on

Near, far, however connected you are
I believe that the internet goes on
Once more you open the source
To review and Audit my code
That is how I know the project will go on

The Support team is here, there's nothing I fear
And I know that the hacking attempts will go on
We'll stay forever behind a virus scanner
You are safe on my protected Rom's
And that's how I know the project will go on and on