I want Pakistan to be like the Incredible Hulk, take no shit from anyone and smash to bits everything that comes in my way attitude.
I want Pakistan to be like a reverse swinging in swinging yorker, you miss i hit
I want Pakistan to be like Mc Gyver, resourceful at using anything and everything as a weapon
I want Pakistan to be like Zidane, headbutting every country in the world that tries to annoy us
I want Pakistan to spank the living daylights out of India out of Kashmir
I want Pakistan to show up as the toughest fu**ing mad ass fighter at every UN meeting
I want Pakistan to stick dynamite sticks up every TTP member's poo hole and light it
I want Pakistan to make an action figure of Ahmedinijad and distribute it free to children
I want Pakistan to take a crap on white house's lawn
I want Pakistan to declare Kim Jong-il as its long lost fraternal brother
I want Pakistan to ask other countries to pay ransom to us for not blowing them up
I want Pakistan to name Fidel Castro as the Uncle no one talks about
I want Pakistan to stop getting involved in useless shit created by others
I want Pakistan to whip some much needed sense into Baloch Separatists
I want Pakistan to get its water back from India via missile target practice on their dams
I want Pakistan to name Abdul Qadeer Khan as the baddest Nuclear Scientist ever
I want Pakistan to form a mafia with China, Iran, North Korea and Russia and call it The Fantastic Five
I want Pakistan to employ the Queen of England as the head maid in the President's House
I want Pakistan to ask Hugo Chavez about the appearance of "balls" and how to use them
Friday, July 9, 2010
Saturday, July 3, 2010
The Quality Inequality
QA or Quality Assurance is all about developing and implementing solutions with a specific purpose, avoiding the dreaded "OH SHIT, OH CRAP, OH GOD' situation/s but Quality Assurance as commonly perceived by the majority of nitwits is not just about Testing. Yes i agree, testing is a big nay huge part of QA but Quality Assurance in no way can be encapsulated in a nutshell called testing. There are many other factors that contribute just as much as testing towards the successful development of a commercial product that passes the benchmark engraved in stone by the Organization, the standards set by the Client and the standards put in place by the Industry.
The very first and basic requirement of Quality Assurance is, the organization itself should have a Quality Conscience attitude with a strict and a big fat "NO" on making any compromises what so ever on Quality. Hiring absolutely qualified people not the kind who wouldn't know Quality if it bit them in the ass, creating and maintaining a productive, professional but friendly environment across all departments (Zero Toleration towards politics and below the belt personal attacks) ,acquiring tools and latest technologies(Absolutely No Penny Pinching), proper training and human resource management (The right person for the right job) all play a vital role in the development of a product which the company could later boast about.
Then comes the client and his standards, more then often a client will expect quality but will refuse to grant the time or dough required for it. This is a true fact and sadly this is the nature of the outsourced I.T Industry, so what to do in this situation? kick the quality factor out of the product? well you would be a ultra moron if you do so. The simple yet effective solution here is to school the client about the benefits of quality development and quality management. If the client has just an ounce of foresight, he/she will agree and let have your time and required bucks to develop a rich in quality product, but please, please refrain from misusing this opportunity for financial or any other form of unethical gains.
Next come the standards set by the industry itself, here the rule of thumb is that do not assume or think that you are wiser, more intelligent then the person who developed a particular standard. You can be a dumb ass but never a wise ass in this case. Yes the space to innovate is always there provided you are equipped with the knowledge necessary to put the wheels of innovation in motion. The people who developed these standards in the first place knew their business, they worked hard and worked intelligently and then came up with these standards, they demand and deserve respect so honor them by following or innovating them but steer clear from disgracing them by being a quality moron.
People who believe in quality do not vomit rainbows as some myths might suggest, the basic difference between normal and quality cautious people is paying attention to details. There is no such thing as NO QUALITY, but yes there is High Quality and Low Quality.
Quality Assurance is one of the most boring jobs in the world, you are surrounded by paper work all the time, but if you want to look at it from a different angle here's one, consider it as an adventure, because when you are surrounded with paper work the danger of getting multiple repeated paper cuts increases thus endangering your life and making QA an adrenaline pumping adventure.
The QA team is never allowed to assume and you cannot let your mind wonder off, doing the same thing meticulously over and over again gets you your pay check. You have a long list of documents which needs to be updated every time a minor or a major change is requested/forced, the list itself and each and every document on it. The irony is that everyone else is allowed to make mistakes except for the QA team as you are supposed to rectify all the mistakes committed by others.
The very first and basic requirement of Quality Assurance is, the organization itself should have a Quality Conscience attitude with a strict and a big fat "NO" on making any compromises what so ever on Quality. Hiring absolutely qualified people not the kind who wouldn't know Quality if it bit them in the ass, creating and maintaining a productive, professional but friendly environment across all departments (Zero Toleration towards politics and below the belt personal attacks) ,acquiring tools and latest technologies(Absolutely No Penny Pinching), proper training and human resource management (The right person for the right job) all play a vital role in the development of a product which the company could later boast about.
Then comes the client and his standards, more then often a client will expect quality but will refuse to grant the time or dough required for it. This is a true fact and sadly this is the nature of the outsourced I.T Industry, so what to do in this situation? kick the quality factor out of the product? well you would be a ultra moron if you do so. The simple yet effective solution here is to school the client about the benefits of quality development and quality management. If the client has just an ounce of foresight, he/she will agree and let have your time and required bucks to develop a rich in quality product, but please, please refrain from misusing this opportunity for financial or any other form of unethical gains.
Next come the standards set by the industry itself, here the rule of thumb is that do not assume or think that you are wiser, more intelligent then the person who developed a particular standard. You can be a dumb ass but never a wise ass in this case. Yes the space to innovate is always there provided you are equipped with the knowledge necessary to put the wheels of innovation in motion. The people who developed these standards in the first place knew their business, they worked hard and worked intelligently and then came up with these standards, they demand and deserve respect so honor them by following or innovating them but steer clear from disgracing them by being a quality moron.
People who believe in quality do not vomit rainbows as some myths might suggest, the basic difference between normal and quality cautious people is paying attention to details. There is no such thing as NO QUALITY, but yes there is High Quality and Low Quality.
Quality Assurance is one of the most boring jobs in the world, you are surrounded by paper work all the time, but if you want to look at it from a different angle here's one, consider it as an adventure, because when you are surrounded with paper work the danger of getting multiple repeated paper cuts increases thus endangering your life and making QA an adrenaline pumping adventure.
The QA team is never allowed to assume and you cannot let your mind wonder off, doing the same thing meticulously over and over again gets you your pay check. You have a long list of documents which needs to be updated every time a minor or a major change is requested/forced, the list itself and each and every document on it. The irony is that everyone else is allowed to make mistakes except for the QA team as you are supposed to rectify all the mistakes committed by others.
Friday, June 25, 2010
Main Shayar to Nahi (I.T Mix)
Main coder to nahin
(Main coder to nahin, magar ae framework
Jab se use kia maine tujhko
Mujhko programming aa gai)
Main tester to nahin, magar ae application
jab say test kia main tujhko
mujhko testing aa gayi
Main coder to nahin
(Language ka naam maine suna tha magar
Syntax kya hai, yeh mujhko nahin tha khabar)
Main to uljha raha amateur ki tarha
source main ghusa raha eik bug ki tarah
main error to nahin
main error to nahin, magar ae test environment
jab se dekha maine tujhko
mujhko bug fixing aa gayi
Main coder to nahin
(Sochta hoon agar main overwrite maarta
Backup utha kar k tawaan maangta)
Jab se black mail tujhko main karne laga
tab se jaise ameer main honay laga
Main data theif to nahi
Main data theif to nahi, magar ae open database
Jab se dekha maine tujhko
Mujhko data migration aa gayi
Main coder to nahin magar ae framework
Jab se use kia maine tujhko
Mujhko programming aa gai
Main coder to nahin
(Main coder to nahin, magar ae framework
Jab se use kia maine tujhko
Mujhko programming aa gai)
Main tester to nahin, magar ae application
jab say test kia main tujhko
mujhko testing aa gayi
Main coder to nahin
(Language ka naam maine suna tha magar
Syntax kya hai, yeh mujhko nahin tha khabar)
Main to uljha raha amateur ki tarha
source main ghusa raha eik bug ki tarah
main error to nahin
main error to nahin, magar ae test environment
jab se dekha maine tujhko
mujhko bug fixing aa gayi
Main coder to nahin
(Sochta hoon agar main overwrite maarta
Backup utha kar k tawaan maangta)
Jab se black mail tujhko main karne laga
tab se jaise ameer main honay laga
Main data theif to nahi
Main data theif to nahi, magar ae open database
Jab se dekha maine tujhko
Mujhko data migration aa gayi
Main coder to nahin magar ae framework
Jab se use kia maine tujhko
Mujhko programming aa gai
Main coder to nahin
Sunday, June 20, 2010
The Un noticed everyday Superhero
My dad, my superhero, my larger than life idol, my ideal and favorite personality and my reason for having faith in humanity and having faith in God, because of you i firmly believe that there is a higher power who really cares about me and gave you the task to watch over me from the ground below while he does the same from the heavens above.Thank you dad for everything, seriously for every little and big things. I recognized you even before i developed face recognition ability, i recognized you by your voice and by your touch. I know you held and carried me continuously for hours on, you must have felt tired but you couldn't bear to set me down because you feared that i might get hurt.
Dad, how can i repay you? i don't think its humanly possible for me and i am sure of this now because i myself am a father and i am going through the same things that you went through and i too have developed the same emotions but i am no where near the parenting standards set by you, your patience, compassion, understanding and the sacrifices you made for me. From the time i started to recognize faces, the time i took my first steps, i uttered my first words, i remember you being there always by my side smiling and there to take care of whatever mess i got myself into regardless of the situation.
Dad, you know i don't believe in celebrating mothers or fathers day because i think its the most cheap and inhumane way of honoring the greatest personalities, greatest helpers and greatest care takers one gets to know. If it was up to me i would declare every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every month of every year, mothers and fathers day and even so i wouldn't be able to just start thanking you for everything you did, you do and will do for me and my betterment.
Dad, they say being a parent is the worst job in the world, you don't get paid, there are no holidays,overtime or extra benefits and you have been doing this thankless job for the past 31 years non stop. For the past 31 years you have been taking first class care of me, and now you are doing the same for my kids and your grand kids, sometimes i wonder what good did i accidentally do to deserve such a wonderful man like you for a father. I know i am far from being the best son in the world, heck i don't even come any close at being a good son but dad let me take this opportunity to tell you that i try my best, i really do and when you say that you love me and are proud of me it makes me happy, very glad and satisfied. Thank you dad for supporting me through thick and thin, through sad and happy times, through hot and cold seasons, through scarce and unlimited means.
Dad, i owe everything good to you, without you by my side i would have been nothing, an absolute loser and a terrible waste of mind, body and soul. It is because of you i learned to talk the talk and walk the walk. You taught me greatness, survival, compassion, humility and modesty. Dad i can go on forever but i know you get bored very easily and being a man's man you too don't like to get emotional, so i will stop now by once more thanking you and by saying Oh dear Father Take me Further, Further into valor, knowledge and parenting.
Dad, how can i repay you? i don't think its humanly possible for me and i am sure of this now because i myself am a father and i am going through the same things that you went through and i too have developed the same emotions but i am no where near the parenting standards set by you, your patience, compassion, understanding and the sacrifices you made for me. From the time i started to recognize faces, the time i took my first steps, i uttered my first words, i remember you being there always by my side smiling and there to take care of whatever mess i got myself into regardless of the situation.
Dad, you know i don't believe in celebrating mothers or fathers day because i think its the most cheap and inhumane way of honoring the greatest personalities, greatest helpers and greatest care takers one gets to know. If it was up to me i would declare every second of every minute of every hour of every day of every month of every year, mothers and fathers day and even so i wouldn't be able to just start thanking you for everything you did, you do and will do for me and my betterment.
Dad, they say being a parent is the worst job in the world, you don't get paid, there are no holidays,overtime or extra benefits and you have been doing this thankless job for the past 31 years non stop. For the past 31 years you have been taking first class care of me, and now you are doing the same for my kids and your grand kids, sometimes i wonder what good did i accidentally do to deserve such a wonderful man like you for a father. I know i am far from being the best son in the world, heck i don't even come any close at being a good son but dad let me take this opportunity to tell you that i try my best, i really do and when you say that you love me and are proud of me it makes me happy, very glad and satisfied. Thank you dad for supporting me through thick and thin, through sad and happy times, through hot and cold seasons, through scarce and unlimited means.
Dad, i owe everything good to you, without you by my side i would have been nothing, an absolute loser and a terrible waste of mind, body and soul. It is because of you i learned to talk the talk and walk the walk. You taught me greatness, survival, compassion, humility and modesty. Dad i can go on forever but i know you get bored very easily and being a man's man you too don't like to get emotional, so i will stop now by once more thanking you and by saying Oh dear Father Take me Further, Further into valor, knowledge and parenting.
Monday, June 14, 2010
Social Sharabi Nerd
Inteha Ho Gayi Intezaar Ki
Aayi Na koi email Mere Yaar Ki
Yeh hamain hai yaqeen
Offline woh nahi
Phir wajah kia hui
No Reply ki
SMS Jo Hain Us k
Waisay SMS kisi aur k nahi
Woh Hai Meri friend aur main us ka friend Myspace pay
Saath Saath Hai Woh Mere Facebook aur Orkut pay
Friends List Mein Woh Nahin Toh Kuchh Nahin Hai Meri list Mein
Band na ho jaay yeh tweets twitter Ki
Inteha Ho Gayi Intezaar Ki
Aayi Na koi email Mere Yaar Ki
Yeh hamain hai yaqeen
Offline woh nahi
Phir wajah kia hui
No Reply ki
Ho Oooo Mere Sajana Lo Main online ho Gayi
Block nahi ho, kyun ho daray sehmay
Layi Hoon Main Tere Liye IM Mera
Dil Yahi Maange chat history Kabhi Ho Na fanaa
Mera Hai Mera Hi Rahe Messenger Tera
Yeh Meri online presence Hai Teri
Tu Mera Farmville
Main hoon neighbor teri
O Mere Sajana Lo Main online ho Gayi
Facebook pay Ban Ke Andhere Dhale Bujh Gaye ehtijaaj Bhale
Account active kia to jaan main jaan aayi
Status update say page sajay sary groups Jagay
Video aur photos main tag karkay tujhay Sharmaayi
Chaa Gayi Phir bahar friend requests ki
Woh Ghadi Kho Gayi Intezaar Ki
Aa Gayi ab Speed DSL Ki
Yeh Nasha Yeh Khushi Ab Na Kam Ho Kabhi
Na paray kabhi zaroorat "Forgot Password Ki"
(My apologies to the writer and composer for messing with their master piece)
Aayi Na koi email Mere Yaar Ki
Yeh hamain hai yaqeen
Offline woh nahi
Phir wajah kia hui
No Reply ki
SMS Jo Hain Us k
Waisay SMS kisi aur k nahi
Woh Hai Meri friend aur main us ka friend Myspace pay
Saath Saath Hai Woh Mere Facebook aur Orkut pay
Friends List Mein Woh Nahin Toh Kuchh Nahin Hai Meri list Mein
Band na ho jaay yeh tweets twitter Ki
Inteha Ho Gayi Intezaar Ki
Aayi Na koi email Mere Yaar Ki
Yeh hamain hai yaqeen
Offline woh nahi
Phir wajah kia hui
No Reply ki
Ho Oooo Mere Sajana Lo Main online ho Gayi
Block nahi ho, kyun ho daray sehmay
Layi Hoon Main Tere Liye IM Mera
Dil Yahi Maange chat history Kabhi Ho Na fanaa
Mera Hai Mera Hi Rahe Messenger Tera
Yeh Meri online presence Hai Teri
Tu Mera Farmville
Main hoon neighbor teri
O Mere Sajana Lo Main online ho Gayi
Facebook pay Ban Ke Andhere Dhale Bujh Gaye ehtijaaj Bhale
Account active kia to jaan main jaan aayi
Status update say page sajay sary groups Jagay
Video aur photos main tag karkay tujhay Sharmaayi
Chaa Gayi Phir bahar friend requests ki
Woh Ghadi Kho Gayi Intezaar Ki
Aa Gayi ab Speed DSL Ki
Yeh Nasha Yeh Khushi Ab Na Kam Ho Kabhi
Na paray kabhi zaroorat "Forgot Password Ki"
(My apologies to the writer and composer for messing with their master piece)
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